Posted in CL. For amusement by me:
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Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
VULGAR (indeed).
hello ......how are you ? ..........fine i hope .......are you online now / still looking ? .........or am i already to late ? :-).......would luv to be the one to invite you over ..... have you a nice warm bubble bath ready , scented candles , soft music , a lil wine ......as i gently washed your soft body all over .... then take you by the hand while your still dripping wet from bath and lead you to the bed room ......as i lay you down on your tummy and rub and massage you down , as you feel my strong hands under you soft skin .....as i roll you over and kiss you and taste your sweet tounge while rubbin your breast
and my hands continue exploring your body as i kiis and rub you all the way down , youir neck , your breast , your tummy .......licking and k
issing your inner thigh........so close i can feel your " sweet warmth" on my face and smell you sweet scent as i turn my hungry tounge tonunge towards your soft wet clit ..as i taste your sweet pussy for the first time ......licking and sucking you from your ass to your clit .........as i fuck you long and deep with my tounge .......as you grind on my face and wrap your legs around me , giving me a mouthful of your wet pussy as i slide my finger in and out of your wet ass .......as you reach down n start to stroke my already hard dick while i'm stil lickin n suckin u .....you turn your body just enough to take me inside your warm sweet mouth ......as we lick and suck each other till we can take no more .......me now wanting to be inside your pussy as much as u want my dick ........i pull u close tp me and give you
along deep passionate kiss so we can share the sweet take of your pussy still on my lips ......as you reach down and start to guide my hard dick insdie you .............as my stiff dick touch;s against your clit for the first time , we both let out a moan of pleasure .........as i go deeper insdie you ....feeling your warm wet jucies all over my hard dick ....as i grab your waist and p ull u deeper onto my dick ...as the scent and the sounds of or passion fill the room .......as i begin to ...
and my hands continue exploring your body as i kiis and rub you all the way down , youir neck , your breast , your tummy .......licking and k
issing your inner thigh........so close i can feel your " sweet warmth" on my face and smell you sweet scent as i turn my hungry tounge tonunge towards your soft wet clit ..as i taste your sweet pussy for the first time ......licking and sucking you from your ass to your clit .........as i fuck you long and deep with my tounge .......as you grind on my face and wrap your legs around me , giving me a mouthful of your wet pussy as i slide my finger in and out of your wet ass .......as you reach down n start to stroke my already hard dick while i'm stil lickin n suckin u .....you turn your body just enough to take me inside your warm sweet mouth ......as we lick and suck each other till we can take no more .......me now wanting to be inside your pussy as much as u want my dick ........i pull u close tp me and give you
along deep passionate kiss so we can share the sweet take of your pussy still on my lips ......as you reach down and start to guide my hard dick insdie you .............as my stiff dick touch;s against your clit for the first time , we both let out a moan of pleasure .........as i go deeper insdie you ....feeling your warm wet jucies all over my hard dick ....as i grab your waist and p ull u deeper onto my dick ...as the scent and the sounds of or passion fill the room .......as i begin to ...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Odds and Ends
Not much going on lately... just getting the usual "hi, u r hot" and "hey want to chat?" and the like.
But I came across a few interesting images today.
But I came across a few interesting images today.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Your Race Affects Whether People Write You Back
While the tone of this article is a bit off - it doesn't take into account that often people of the same race prefer their own race because of comfort level/religion/the way they were raised - or the fact that sometimes you just aren't physically attracted to someone, it was interesting to see these data comparisons on rate of response by sex/race. Take it with a grain of salt. Being the big data nerd I am, I loved their stats charts. Goobery goodness for all:
Your race affects whether people write you back or not
Your race affects whether people write you back or not
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I love eharmony
So I admit, the answers I am giving these guys are definitely retarded and meant to try to turn them off. However, I am still getting responses. My goal is to see if I can get any of them to actually close the match before I do. So far, I'm losing at this game. I just received this email today:
Subject: Hi
Message: I would say I'm a little less hairy in person than in my photos but you never know I could actually be more hairy, it all depends on the location of the hair, how about you? Sometimes I get wild & color the hair in certain areas depending on the mood. Additionally, about every week I shave so the amount of hair on my face fluctuates by a millimeter or two. Let's plan a call to discuss these pressing issues and more. Cedric XXX-XXX-XXXX
Subject: Hi
Message: I would say I'm a little less hairy in person than in my photos but you never know I could actually be more hairy, it all depends on the location of the hair, how about you? Sometimes I get wild & color the hair in certain areas depending on the mood. Additionally, about every week I shave so the amount of hair on my face fluctuates by a millimeter or two. Let's plan a call to discuss these pressing issues and more. Cedric XXX-XXX-XXXX
More photo funny
These are the only 2 photos this guy posted on his profile. No, I did not do any cropping!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
WOW...wtf??
ever had that tight tight wet pussy around a big black cock
Oh, and his user name is: whitetailfever.
REALLY who says this in email?
Oh, and his user name is: whitetailfever.
REALLY who says this in email?
Friday, October 9, 2009
I AM OLD FASHION!
Thought I stop and say Hi,
I have been single now for a year and I have to say, I have a pretty good life, I go and come as I please.
but sometime when the light are low and that little voice in my head starts to speak, I too can get a little lonely.
Then I read one or two profiles and say oh my!
So I saw you profile and thought I would stop to say HI and see if you want to chat? BUT I DID SAY HI! I AM NOT SHY BUT I AM OLD FASHION
well thanks for reading this, if you want to chat drop me a line or too... who knows what tomorrow holds. Well happy hunting and May God Bless you with all you need and all you want.
The following images were attached to this message.
I have been single now for a year and I have to say, I have a pretty good life, I go and come as I please.
but sometime when the light are low and that little voice in my head starts to speak, I too can get a little lonely.
Then I read one or two profiles and say oh my!
So I saw you profile and thought I would stop to say HI and see if you want to chat? BUT I DID SAY HI! I AM NOT SHY BUT I AM OLD FASHION
well thanks for reading this, if you want to chat drop me a line or too... who knows what tomorrow holds. Well happy hunting and May God Bless you with all you need and all you want.
The following images were attached to this message.
Today's WTF:
Safety pin nipple piercing with tag. (sounds like the title of a painting: Still life with bird and apple).
Today's gems...
Have I mentioned how much I love men that can't spell properly and have bad grammar? To put it in perspective, I got a perfect score on the verbal section of my SAT's. Now, the math part, we won't discuss...
Just thought I would say hit. Tired of trying to say the right thing to convince someone your worht talking to.
Changed my profile a bit but I dont think that you can truly show who you are by writting it.
I love running working out and biking as well. I did a dualathon last year my first one and want to do more. I train about 6 days a week with weights but I really really want to get the running and biking down.
Anyway hope to hear from you.
Being single for me stinks, been single for sometime. Not into the bar scene to much, well hold on, like to go just not a place I wish to meet a person whom I would like to date.
Anyway trying to find somehting to do this weekend, if your bored and would like to gedt out for a drink or a bite to eat I would love to hear from you.
and the ever prominent:
WANNA CHAT
More bad english:
How are you?Do you like to do some kind of sport?
I'm LOLing. barf.
Just thought I would say hit. Tired of trying to say the right thing to convince someone your worht talking to.
Changed my profile a bit but I dont think that you can truly show who you are by writting it.
I love running working out and biking as well. I did a dualathon last year my first one and want to do more. I train about 6 days a week with weights but I really really want to get the running and biking down.
Anyway hope to hear from you.
Being single for me stinks, been single for sometime. Not into the bar scene to much, well hold on, like to go just not a place I wish to meet a person whom I would like to date.
Anyway trying to find somehting to do this weekend, if your bored and would like to gedt out for a drink or a bite to eat I would love to hear from you.
and the ever prominent:
WANNA CHAT
More bad english:
How are you?Do you like to do some kind of sport?
I'm LOLing. barf.
Angry Businessman31
I just thought I'd bump this guy's emails to me up, since I found his profile on PoF. So everyone can see what I dealt with. I think my favorite part of his profile is this: I could push you in the swing, just learn about each other.
Angry Business Man 31
So these are the emails he sent (I already posted these earlier)
Progressive series from angry man due to my lack of response:
First email:
You're a very beautiful woman!
What's your name?
Do you like the beach?
I love the beach!
I own a place outside of Lewes, Delaware, I go down allot ( eat crabs, swim, work on my tan.
Just so you know I'm far from being like most of these guys on this site, I own a couple of businesses, I own apartments and have very big goals and dreams in life.
I'd like to talk with you, if you would.
Just take a look at my profile and see if you like what you see.
Have a great day, I hope to hear back from you.
Justin
Second (within 1 hour):
God forbid any of you woman would actually respond to a simple, I want to get to know you message
Third (a few hours later):
You don't know a winner when you see one and when a motivated go getter like myself is interested in you, you'd prefer to "SEE WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE", YOU WOMAN DON"T DESERVE A MAN LIKE ME.
Why do I say that?
Simple, I first sent you a simple Hi I'm Justin, I want to get to know you further message however, you'd rather have trailer park Joe than a nice Man that actually has one heck of a great life now and future ahead of me, again, if you'd actually read my profile, it should jump right off the page at you and you'd know what I'm talking about!
Blame me all you want for being blunt, but this is the truth, deny it all you will, you'll say, "WELL WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, I'M NOT INTERESTED.
Don't you see however the problem is that, when I sent you the, I want to get to know you better message and in my profile, I simply state that I'm a good Man that's not a loser.
Do I receive a response to that?
Of course not, I'm telling you that you ladies should really take a good hard look at yourselves and examine why on Gods green Earth you would turn down even wanting to get to know a Man like myself.
Very strange!
Justin
Angry Business Man 31
So these are the emails he sent (I already posted these earlier)
Progressive series from angry man due to my lack of response:
First email:
You're a very beautiful woman!
What's your name?
Do you like the beach?
I love the beach!
I own a place outside of Lewes, Delaware, I go down allot ( eat crabs, swim, work on my tan.
Just so you know I'm far from being like most of these guys on this site, I own a couple of businesses, I own apartments and have very big goals and dreams in life.
I'd like to talk with you, if you would.
Just take a look at my profile and see if you like what you see.
Have a great day, I hope to hear back from you.
Justin
Second (within 1 hour):
God forbid any of you woman would actually respond to a simple, I want to get to know you message
Third (a few hours later):
You don't know a winner when you see one and when a motivated go getter like myself is interested in you, you'd prefer to "SEE WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE", YOU WOMAN DON"T DESERVE A MAN LIKE ME.
Why do I say that?
Simple, I first sent you a simple Hi I'm Justin, I want to get to know you further message however, you'd rather have trailer park Joe than a nice Man that actually has one heck of a great life now and future ahead of me, again, if you'd actually read my profile, it should jump right off the page at you and you'd know what I'm talking about!
Blame me all you want for being blunt, but this is the truth, deny it all you will, you'll say, "WELL WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, I'M NOT INTERESTED.
Don't you see however the problem is that, when I sent you the, I want to get to know you better message and in my profile, I simply state that I'm a good Man that's not a loser.
Do I receive a response to that?
Of course not, I'm telling you that you ladies should really take a good hard look at yourselves and examine why on Gods green Earth you would turn down even wanting to get to know a Man like myself.
Very strange!
Justin
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Craigslist Postings continued...
This is how I amuse myself. This was posted in "strictly platonic"
Test Yourself - win a friend (or a date?!) - w4m
Please select the applicable answer(s) from the following choices.
1) Which is the proper word to be used in the context of this sentence: "You're/Your a good friend."
A) Your
B) You're
C) I am an idiot
D) What?
E) Send pic please, k thnx!
2) How many CL ads have you recently responded to with the same photos and boring text?
A) < 5
B) > 500
C) I respond to anything, including porn/spam
D) What is < >?
E) I am lonely, love me
3) You are single. This really means:
A) I am married
B) I am married
C) I am married
D) I am married
E) I am actually single
4) You are:
A) easy going
B) funny/sweet/nice
C) well hung
D) a douchebag
E) a good guy
5) You are looking for:
A) sex
B) lots of sex
C) hot sex
D) a date
E) sex with a gal's foot
6) In your spare time you:
A) work out
B) think about working out
C) why would I work out?
D) tell people I work out
E) I am fat
7) You really look:
A) 30 but I'm really 40,50,60,70,80
B) I am actually in my 30's.
C) like Brad Pitt
D) like I need a shower
E) pasty white from lack of sun
Bonus points if you can guess my profession and/or spot the intentional error in this post.
PS. I AM NOT SPAM I AM NOT A BOT. If I don't reply, it's because I'm not interested, or you didn't answer right, or you have bad grammar, or I'm not bored enough!
Test Yourself - win a friend (or a date?!) - w4m
Please select the applicable answer(s) from the following choices.
1) Which is the proper word to be used in the context of this sentence: "You're/Your a good friend."
A) Your
B) You're
C) I am an idiot
D) What?
E) Send pic please, k thnx!
2) How many CL ads have you recently responded to with the same photos and boring text?
A) < 5
B) > 500
C) I respond to anything, including porn/spam
D) What is < >?
E) I am lonely, love me
3) You are single. This really means:
A) I am married
B) I am married
C) I am married
D) I am married
E) I am actually single
4) You are:
A) easy going
B) funny/sweet/nice
C) well hung
D) a douchebag
E) a good guy
5) You are looking for:
A) sex
B) lots of sex
C) hot sex
D) a date
E) sex with a gal's foot
6) In your spare time you:
A) work out
B) think about working out
C) why would I work out?
D) tell people I work out
E) I am fat
7) You really look:
A) 30 but I'm really 40,50,60,70,80
B) I am actually in my 30's.
C) like Brad Pitt
D) like I need a shower
E) pasty white from lack of sun
Bonus points if you can guess my profession and/or spot the intentional error in this post.
PS. I AM NOT SPAM I AM NOT A BOT. If I don't reply, it's because I'm not interested, or you didn't answer right, or you have bad grammar, or I'm not bored enough!
Craigslists Ads I have Posted...
This one is just getting right to the point here. I've had no responses at all. Damn, what's a girl have to do to get a sugar daddy around these heyah parts?
--------------
Looking for a Benefactor - w4m - 36 (DC)
Do you have money? Do you want to spend it on something stupid and frivolous? Would it make you feel better if you spent it on a woman? Are you tired of throwing crinkled dollar bills at dirty strippers who won't even say thank you before they try to bilk your wallet for the Andrew Jacksons you really have hidden deep inside?
Well you're in luck! I've got just the answer for you. Me!
Here's what I offer:
I'm female. I don't want to date/sleep or even talk to you, however I will thank you for any financial contributions you make to my cause. You can pay me in dollars, jacksons, or money orders, I don't care. Just please don't send me pennies, I'm not sure how I'd transport hundreds of dollars of them. I won't tell you what I look like, what I do, or where I live. Discretion is mandatory.
Is that extra cash burning a hole in your wallet and making you worry about the amount of money you'll have to send Uncle Sam at the end of this fiscal year?? Well, if you gift me money, you can consider it a donation to charity and it will be a great tax write off for you. Even better: if you send installments of under 10K, the IRS will not investigate you for money laundering!! Bonus!!!
So, in summary:
I want your cash.
I offer you nothing.
Sounds like a win/win situation to me! Hurry, act now!! Operators are standing by with my swiss bank account numbers. Don't miss out on this offer of a lifetime!
--------------
Looking for a Benefactor - w4m - 36 (DC)
Do you have money? Do you want to spend it on something stupid and frivolous? Would it make you feel better if you spent it on a woman? Are you tired of throwing crinkled dollar bills at dirty strippers who won't even say thank you before they try to bilk your wallet for the Andrew Jacksons you really have hidden deep inside?
Well you're in luck! I've got just the answer for you. Me!
Here's what I offer:
I'm female. I don't want to date/sleep or even talk to you, however I will thank you for any financial contributions you make to my cause. You can pay me in dollars, jacksons, or money orders, I don't care. Just please don't send me pennies, I'm not sure how I'd transport hundreds of dollars of them. I won't tell you what I look like, what I do, or where I live. Discretion is mandatory.
Is that extra cash burning a hole in your wallet and making you worry about the amount of money you'll have to send Uncle Sam at the end of this fiscal year?? Well, if you gift me money, you can consider it a donation to charity and it will be a great tax write off for you. Even better: if you send installments of under 10K, the IRS will not investigate you for money laundering!! Bonus!!!
So, in summary:
I want your cash.
I offer you nothing.
Sounds like a win/win situation to me! Hurry, act now!! Operators are standing by with my swiss bank account numbers. Don't miss out on this offer of a lifetime!
MALE ARM CANDY WANTED...possibly with Toes to Suck - w4m - 36 (candyland/bmore)
----------
Do you have an arm? Does it taste like Candy? Will you hang out on my arm with your candilicious tasting arm? Does it taste like cherry? Because I prefer cherry. Bonus points if your arm is muscular, and not hairy. However, your legs can be hairy and your underarms, but not your back or your face.
Do you have toes? Do you want me to suck them? No? Good. Because I don't want to. Do you want to suck mine? No? Good, because I don't want you to. Apparently though, there are some guys on here that want to just find a woman and suck her toes. Let me put this out up front. I don't want to suck your toes, or have my toes sucked. I don't really want to even have you looking at my feet. They are quite cute, but that's not really the point.
Do you use Twitter? Yes? No? It doesn't really matter, because I don't. And if I did, I wouldn't want you to follow me. However, if you are very cute, have a foreign accent, and like outdoorsy activities and are in good shape, maybe I would want you to follow me.
Do you send random photos of your junk to women on the internet? Hey, that's great if you are the kind of person that likes to share. Just don't share with me.
Do you enjoy dried mangos and olive tapenade from Trader Joes? Do you wait until the shipment of said dried mangos arrives, and then purchase them in bulk quantity? Do you decide to try the chili spiced mango one day when you realize they are out of the regular ones, and realize they aren't an acceptable substitute?
Is your name Ray? If it is, don't email me. I do discriminate based on names. That is one name I won't date. Sorry, Rays of the World. One Ray ruined it all. If your name is something foreign that is hard to pronounce, that would be a lot of fun for me. I enjoy names and words I can't pronounce. Especially if you can say the name or other words with a strong accent. If you can do a really good fake accent, I might be interested as well.
I'm in my 30's. Don't be 50,60,70,80, or dead. Don't be still sucking your thumb either. I mean, who wants to deal with a drooling hot guy with nice arm muscles on her arm? It would make eating my dried mangos a bit more challenging...
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Spandexwhetter
This one is for Miss S. We refer to this one as Spandexwhetter. Why? Because he sent me the following photo and said that it was to "whet my appetite".
heh.
heh.
I've been propositioned!
Yet again...So I went on a date with this one guy. He was nice, normal, just not my type. So I cut the date short citing my desire to get up at 7am to go biking. He texted me several times post-date, which I ignored. Now keep in mind, I *am* looking to have a relationship at some point...just not with him. This is the recent email I got:
I'm not really an Insurance Broker. I'm a rocket surgeon, ops! I mean brain scientist.
Anyway, the point is I'm smart enough to know that you're not interested in a relationship. I don't blame you. You seem very mature. I'm pretty immature at the core. But at the end of the day I think you have a great body and a pretty face so I just wanted to know if you want to cum over. I'm discreet. No strings attached. Just let me know I'll give you my address.
P.S. I was going to text you a cock shot and say something like "I was just hanging around thinking about u." But I wasn't sure what your reaction would have been. I'm thinking you would think that's funny but you could have been disgusted, not sure.
Also, I used spell checker for you this time. That means I think you're special.
I'm not really an Insurance Broker. I'm a rocket surgeon, ops! I mean brain scientist.
Anyway, the point is I'm smart enough to know that you're not interested in a relationship. I don't blame you. You seem very mature. I'm pretty immature at the core. But at the end of the day I think you have a great body and a pretty face so I just wanted to know if you want to cum over. I'm discreet. No strings attached. Just let me know I'll give you my address.
P.S. I was going to text you a cock shot and say something like "I was just hanging around thinking about u." But I wasn't sure what your reaction would have been. I'm thinking you would think that's funny but you could have been disgusted, not sure.
Also, I used spell checker for you this time. That means I think you're special.
From a profile on PoF
Wow, I think spell checker is going to have to call 911 for an emergency visit:
Internet service and cell, 250 a month? If this really worth the aggravation? Seriously? I'm a regular guy, never been married, and no children, always dreamed of being married and having a child! Looking for that all American dream, the beautiful wife and kids! Growing up on a farm, has given so much divisibility! Country in my bones, and hard work in my hands, makes for a great strong mind and body! People come and go, I believe for a reason! What those reasons are, we may never figure out? It is our Jobs as people to learn our best from each and every past relationship, and try deep in our hearts to be the best we can be, no matter what the circumstances! Over come our short comings and better our selves along the way! If a person does these things and truly in thier hearts believes they are doing so, the people that have done them wrong, one day will see thier mistakes by your example! Leadership and guidance are what we as the people of this great country have been lacking, dead beat dads and the broken homes, destroyed marriages , so very sad! Just one of many reasons why I have chose not to marry in the past ! Now at 40 years old, I know deep down, I am ready for that ultimate commitment, to dedicate my life to that one women whom would steal my heart and hold on tight! To death do us part! Extremely powerful to me, and not taken lightly! If you are, FAKE, INSACURE, INTROVERTED, SELFISH, INSENCEATIVE, NONPASSIONATE, FULL OF PRIDE, LATE, NOT RESPONCEABLE, HATEFUL, NONCOMPASSIONATE, ABUSIVE, HOMELESS, ACOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT, PROSTIUTE, CAM GIRL, STILL NOT OVER YOUR X, GOLD DIGGER, DRAMMA QUEEN, IMPOLITE, RACEIST, IDEALISTIC,ILMORAL, NO GOALS, Don't waist your time or mine! Thank you! BTW, I always reply to all emails, not matter what, and I expect the same in return! If I take MY TIME to email, I should expect the same in return, even just to say your not interested! Ignorance is as Ignorance does! Be considerate to others not matter who they are, one day you may run across thier paths and need them?
Internet service and cell, 250 a month? If this really worth the aggravation? Seriously? I'm a regular guy, never been married, and no children, always dreamed of being married and having a child! Looking for that all American dream, the beautiful wife and kids! Growing up on a farm, has given so much divisibility! Country in my bones, and hard work in my hands, makes for a great strong mind and body! People come and go, I believe for a reason! What those reasons are, we may never figure out? It is our Jobs as people to learn our best from each and every past relationship, and try deep in our hearts to be the best we can be, no matter what the circumstances! Over come our short comings and better our selves along the way! If a person does these things and truly in thier hearts believes they are doing so, the people that have done them wrong, one day will see thier mistakes by your example! Leadership and guidance are what we as the people of this great country have been lacking, dead beat dads and the broken homes, destroyed marriages , so very sad! Just one of many reasons why I have chose not to marry in the past ! Now at 40 years old, I know deep down, I am ready for that ultimate commitment, to dedicate my life to that one women whom would steal my heart and hold on tight! To death do us part! Extremely powerful to me, and not taken lightly! If you are, FAKE, INSACURE, INTROVERTED, SELFISH, INSENCEATIVE, NONPASSIONATE, FULL OF PRIDE, LATE, NOT RESPONCEABLE, HATEFUL, NONCOMPASSIONATE, ABUSIVE, HOMELESS, ACOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT, PROSTIUTE, CAM GIRL, STILL NOT OVER YOUR X, GOLD DIGGER, DRAMMA QUEEN, IMPOLITE, RACEIST, IDEALISTIC,ILMORAL, NO GOALS, Don't waist your time or mine! Thank you! BTW, I always reply to all emails, not matter what, and I expect the same in return! If I take MY TIME to email, I should expect the same in return, even just to say your not interested! Ignorance is as Ignorance does! Be considerate to others not matter who they are, one day you may run across thier paths and need them?
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