DoucheScan(TM)

Posted in CL.  For amusement by me:

The DoucheScan(TM) system is an essential system for single women of all ages. With just a quick zap from DoucheScan(TM) you will have more information about the man you are interested in than you could ever dream of.  All in just under 2 minutes!!!

DoucheScan helps eliminate men with sagging balls, small penises, venereal diseases, mommy complexes, sister fuckers, dog fuckers, cross dressers, and helps drastically reduce the likeliness of you dating a gay man. It does for your dating selection process what your dad does when he cleans his shotgun by the door - instills the fear of God into your potential mates.

You might also like:

Pocket DoucheScan - for ladies on the go
DoucheScan Worldband - for ladies that travel abroad
DoucheScan PhD Edition - for ladies that come up against the best
DoucheScan Lavender Edition - helps eliminate men with sagging balls, small penises, venereal diseases, daddy or mommy complexes, men who watch Glee or listen to Britney Spears, dog fuckers, cross dressers, and helps drastically reduce the likeliness of you dating a closeted gay Republican.

If you act now, we will throw in our convenient Pocket Dictionary of DoucheBags at no additional cost!  This handy guide will give you the lo down on all various types of data output you can expect to encounter with DoucheScan.  If you are not thoroughly satisfied after trying DoucheScan for 30 days, you can return the DoucheScan for a full refund, and keep the Pocket Dictionary as our gift to you. 

For the next hour, the first 500 callers will get a SECOND DoucheScan to keep in your car, or in your vacation home for travel douchebag busting!

The DoucheScan is available in 3 easy payments of 19.99 + $5.00 shipping and handling.
No COD.

Make Checks Payable to

DoucheMasters Inventions
555 Ballbusting Lane
New York, NY

VULGAR (indeed).

hello ......how are you ? ..........fine i hope .......are you online now / still looking ? .........or am i already to late ? :-).......would luv to be the one to invite you over ..... have you a nice warm bubble bath ready , scented candles , soft music , a lil wine ......as i gently washed your soft body all over .... then take you by the hand while your still dripping wet from bath and lead you to the bed room ......as i lay you down on your tummy and rub and massage you down , as you feel my strong hands under you soft skin .....as i roll you over and kiss you and taste your sweet tounge while rubbin your breast
 and my hands continue exploring your body as i kiis and rub you all the way down , youir neck , your breast , your tummy .......licking and k
issing your inner thigh........so close i can feel your " sweet warmth" on my face and smell you sweet scent as i turn my hungry tounge tonunge towards your soft wet clit ..as i taste your sweet pussy for the first time ......licking and sucking you from your ass to your clit .........as i fuck you long and deep with my tounge .......as you grind on my face and wrap your legs around me , giving me a mouthful of your wet pussy as i slide my finger in and out of your wet ass .......as you reach down n start to stroke my already hard dick while i'm stil lickin n suckin u .....you turn your body just enough to take me inside your warm sweet mouth ......as we lick and suck each other till we can take no more .......me now wanting to be inside your pussy as much as u want my dick ........i pull u close tp me and give you
 along deep passionate kiss so we can share the sweet take of your pussy still on my lips ......as you reach down and start to guide my hard dick insdie you .............as my stiff dick touch;s against your clit for the first time , we both let out a moan of pleasure .........as i go deeper insdie you ....feeling your warm wet jucies all over my hard dick ....as i grab your waist and p ull u deeper onto my dick ...as the scent and the sounds of or passion fill the room .......as i begin to ...

Odds and Ends

Not much going on lately... just getting the usual "hi, u r hot" and "hey want to chat?" and the like.

But I came across a few interesting images today.

Advice for the Boys...

This article is 200% true.  Follow this, and your chances will increase two-fold.

Advice for Men

Your Race Affects Whether People Write You Back

While the tone of this article is a bit off - it doesn't take into account that often people of the same race prefer their own race because of comfort level/religion/the way they were raised - or the fact that sometimes you just aren't physically attracted to someone, it was interesting to see these data comparisons on rate of response by sex/race.  Take it with a grain of salt.  Being the big data nerd I am, I loved their stats charts.  Goobery goodness for all:

Your race affects whether people write you back or not

I love eharmony

So I admit, the answers I am giving these guys are definitely retarded and meant to try to turn them off.  However, I am still getting responses.  My goal is to see if I can get any of them to actually close the match before I do.  So far, I'm losing at this game.  I just received this email today:

Subject: Hi
Message:  I would say I'm a little less hairy in person than in my photos but you never know I could actually be more hairy, it all depends on the location of the hair, how about you? Sometimes I get wild & color the hair in certain areas depending on the mood. Additionally, about every week I shave so the amount of hair on my face fluctuates by a millimeter or two. Let's plan a call to discuss these pressing issues and more. Cedric XXX-XXX-XXXX

Another Photo Edition: Men on Bikes