This one had the subject "clb". Someone tell me what that means?
how about a date that is a hike in the mountains, i would like that better than visiting a waste water treatment plant. or even a bike ride would be ok , are you very easily entertained tha you wrote about a squirell, or do like watching them out side your windows?
And another in the series of men that don't know how to spell "piqued":
Okay I am going to give you my life story the readers digest version and see if I can peak some interest.
I loev guys who can't spel:
Hi there my name is dave, you probably get a million emails and proposals.....I can understand because your smokin hot. But Im not intimadated by your beauty, lol....I loved you profile very funny!! I would like to hang out one night, have some coffe and chat. See where things go....
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Been awhile...
Thought I would add some recent updates since I've decided I'm crazy enough to throw my hat back in the e-ring of crazy online dating. Here are some particularly great emails I've received lately:
So what place u finish the triathlon? You look like your in great shape there. ;-) So I figure you did really good. Or wore you just chasing a squirrel. Lol.
I'm not as active as you are but I enjoy being active. I bike but have a flat :-( when ever I have time I like to get away and go to my cabin. Climb the hills and hike. Haven't taken my bike up there but that's next. And you could chase squirrels all day! Lol.
I enjoyed your profile and would like to learn more about you and make shore your not normal. Don't like normal chicks. Lol
How are you doing today??? I'm very glad.. Well I'm pretty new to this Internet dating scene though.. well i was glancing through profiles when your fascinating profile and Tender looking face with a nice smile pecked my Interest that allowed me to contact you, And I must admit that you're ravishingly beautiful. your beauty pecked my Interest also and you wouldn't tell me that you're still single??? well i will love you to email me to my private mail cos i am not regular on here xxxx@xxx.com i will really love to hear from you soon..
Progressive series from angry man due to my lack of response:
First email:
You're a very beautiful woman!
What's your name?
Do you like the beach?
I love the beach!
I own a place outside of Lewes, Delaware, I go down allot ( eat crabs, swim, work on my tan.
Just so you know I'm far from being like most of these guys on this site, I own a couple of businesses, I own apartments and have very big goals and dreams in life.
I'd like to talk with you, if you would.
Just take a look at my profile and see if you like what you see.
Have a great day, I hope to hear back from you.
Justin
Second (within 1 hour):
God forbid any of you woman would actually respond to a simple, I want to get to know you message
Third (a few hours later):
You don't know a winner when you see one and when a motivated go getter like myself is interested in you, you'd prefer to "SEE WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE", YOU WOMAN DON"T DESERVE A MAN LIKE ME.
Why do I say that?
Simple, I first sent you a simple Hi I'm Justin, I want to get to know you further message however, you'd rather have trailer park Joe than a nice Man that actually has one heck of a great life now and future ahead of me, again, if you'd actually read my profile, it should jump right off the page at you and you'd know what I'm talking about!
Blame me all you want for being blunt, but this is the truth, deny it all you will, you'll say, "WELL WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, I'M NOT INTERESTED.
Don't you see however the problem is that, when I sent you the, I want to get to know you better message and in my profile, I simply state that I'm a good Man that's not a loser.
Do I receive a response to that?
Of course not, I'm telling you that you ladies should really take a good hard look at yourselves and examine why on Gods green Earth you would turn down even wanting to get to know a Man like myself.
Very strange!
Justin
So what place u finish the triathlon? You look like your in great shape there. ;-) So I figure you did really good. Or wore you just chasing a squirrel. Lol.
I'm not as active as you are but I enjoy being active. I bike but have a flat :-( when ever I have time I like to get away and go to my cabin. Climb the hills and hike. Haven't taken my bike up there but that's next. And you could chase squirrels all day! Lol.
I enjoyed your profile and would like to learn more about you and make shore your not normal. Don't like normal chicks. Lol
How are you doing today??? I'm very glad.. Well I'm pretty new to this Internet dating scene though.. well i was glancing through profiles when your fascinating profile and Tender looking face with a nice smile pecked my Interest that allowed me to contact you, And I must admit that you're ravishingly beautiful. your beauty pecked my Interest also and you wouldn't tell me that you're still single??? well i will love you to email me to my private mail cos i am not regular on here xxxx@xxx.com i will really love to hear from you soon..
Progressive series from angry man due to my lack of response:
First email:
You're a very beautiful woman!
What's your name?
Do you like the beach?
I love the beach!
I own a place outside of Lewes, Delaware, I go down allot ( eat crabs, swim, work on my tan.
Just so you know I'm far from being like most of these guys on this site, I own a couple of businesses, I own apartments and have very big goals and dreams in life.
I'd like to talk with you, if you would.
Just take a look at my profile and see if you like what you see.
Have a great day, I hope to hear back from you.
Justin
Second (within 1 hour):
God forbid any of you woman would actually respond to a simple, I want to get to know you message
Third (a few hours later):
You don't know a winner when you see one and when a motivated go getter like myself is interested in you, you'd prefer to "SEE WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE", YOU WOMAN DON"T DESERVE A MAN LIKE ME.
Why do I say that?
Simple, I first sent you a simple Hi I'm Justin, I want to get to know you further message however, you'd rather have trailer park Joe than a nice Man that actually has one heck of a great life now and future ahead of me, again, if you'd actually read my profile, it should jump right off the page at you and you'd know what I'm talking about!
Blame me all you want for being blunt, but this is the truth, deny it all you will, you'll say, "WELL WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, I'M NOT INTERESTED.
Don't you see however the problem is that, when I sent you the, I want to get to know you better message and in my profile, I simply state that I'm a good Man that's not a loser.
Do I receive a response to that?
Of course not, I'm telling you that you ladies should really take a good hard look at yourselves and examine why on Gods green Earth you would turn down even wanting to get to know a Man like myself.
Very strange!
Justin
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Oh my...
I had to share this:
a terrified subordinate has anonymously informed me that this profile makes me sound "abrasive." why, this couldn't be further (farther?) from the truth! so i say, let's play a game to lighten the mood! three lies and a truth! 1) i was once attacked by a brown grizzly bear while hiding out in the woods with my captors; 2) my birth-mother left me at a fire-station in the middle of the night when i was six-months old; 3) i'm doing 100 push-ups a night so i can upgrade my body-type from "about average" to "athletic and toned"; 4) clint eastwood once gave me a dirty look for leering at his beautiful wife. ok. now take a minute...ok. number four is the truth! now, for the "abrasive" profile: i'm sort of moody but also pleasant and happy a lot and i can't really tan :( i don't know how to cook but i love french toast at denny's. i don't eat homemade food because i think people's kitchens are dirty---cats in the kitchen and stuff. i like the new york times. i don't like the summer and i don't really like the winter. i love october though. i also like hansen's energy drinks and banana republic although i can't really afford it :/ i don't like dateline's stone phillips. i like the news hour with jim lehrer and i like charlie rose. i don't like happy, feel-good movies. the commercials on UPN/CW during the day depress me. i am skeptical of people who call into morning radio shows and share details of their mundane lives with the 25 year-old DJ. i'm lonely too but i talk to MYSELF. i think i may have suffered a minor stroke tonight in the grocery store parking lot. except last month i was convinced that i had glaucoma and that self-diagnosis turned out to be wrong. i think i spelled "diagnosis" incorrectly? bad weather on the weekend makes me smile. i just totally can't handle ants in the kitchen or hair in food. i like strawberry margaritas but i'm not secure enough to order them. i don't like to share my dessert. slow walkers infuriate me. basically, as big-L put it, "i'm so ahead of my time my parents haven't met yet."
a terrified subordinate has anonymously informed me that this profile makes me sound "abrasive." why, this couldn't be further (farther?) from the truth! so i say, let's play a game to lighten the mood! three lies and a truth! 1) i was once attacked by a brown grizzly bear while hiding out in the woods with my captors; 2) my birth-mother left me at a fire-station in the middle of the night when i was six-months old; 3) i'm doing 100 push-ups a night so i can upgrade my body-type from "about average" to "athletic and toned"; 4) clint eastwood once gave me a dirty look for leering at his beautiful wife. ok. now take a minute...ok. number four is the truth! now, for the "abrasive" profile: i'm sort of moody but also pleasant and happy a lot and i can't really tan :( i don't know how to cook but i love french toast at denny's. i don't eat homemade food because i think people's kitchens are dirty---cats in the kitchen and stuff. i like the new york times. i don't like the summer and i don't really like the winter. i love october though. i also like hansen's energy drinks and banana republic although i can't really afford it :/ i don't like dateline's stone phillips. i like the news hour with jim lehrer and i like charlie rose. i don't like happy, feel-good movies. the commercials on UPN/CW during the day depress me. i am skeptical of people who call into morning radio shows and share details of their mundane lives with the 25 year-old DJ. i'm lonely too but i talk to MYSELF. i think i may have suffered a minor stroke tonight in the grocery store parking lot. except last month i was convinced that i had glaucoma and that self-diagnosis turned out to be wrong. i think i spelled "diagnosis" incorrectly? bad weather on the weekend makes me smile. i just totally can't handle ants in the kitchen or hair in food. i like strawberry margaritas but i'm not secure enough to order them. i don't like to share my dessert. slow walkers infuriate me. basically, as big-L put it, "i'm so ahead of my time my parents haven't met yet."
I bang the worst dudes
That title isn't referring to me, but to the site I've linked to on the right.
Here are some of my favorite snippets so far. Why are these women so pathetic???
------
I met this 21 year-old virgin on a scenester dating site. We got together a few times, and he refused any form of PDA, including hand-holding. I let him buy me dinner and take me to museums in the city. Often we’d be walking and he would push me into a pile of trash on the sidewalk and laugh. Aw, how romantic! The first time I blowing him he got really paranoid and screamed that he was not going to have sex with me. As I made my way down his very pierced body, I was in shock at what I found in his pants. He had his asshole pierced. How this was even possible is beyond me, but he loved for it to be tugged on. Things ended after a few months when he started not fucking another girl.
-------
I was 18 and very intoxicated. He was 28, attractive, and feeding me more drugs/alcohol. The next day I was discussing the crazy “dream” I thought I had had when my friend confirmed that it was not a dream: he had filmed us having sex. Needless to say I don’t really remember the details. A few nights later he showed up in a suit knocking on my window. It was 2 am on Christmas Eve. Really?
-------
Up until this point I had never had a one night stand but after having a few exchanges with a guy who works at a bar I frequent, I decided to text him. We met up at a bar where he claimed he was too broke to buy me a drink but nonetheless I brought him back to my place where instead of foreplay, my hair was pretty much ripped out of my head while being enveloped in some strange embrace that only he found sexy. Afterward he showed off a horrifying tattoo of a vagina on his body, which looked more like chewed gum (artistic interpretation?) and we proceeded to have the most unsatisfying sex of my life.
Here are some of my favorite snippets so far. Why are these women so pathetic???
------
I met this 21 year-old virgin on a scenester dating site. We got together a few times, and he refused any form of PDA, including hand-holding. I let him buy me dinner and take me to museums in the city. Often we’d be walking and he would push me into a pile of trash on the sidewalk and laugh. Aw, how romantic! The first time I blowing him he got really paranoid and screamed that he was not going to have sex with me. As I made my way down his very pierced body, I was in shock at what I found in his pants. He had his asshole pierced. How this was even possible is beyond me, but he loved for it to be tugged on. Things ended after a few months when he started not fucking another girl.
-------
I was 18 and very intoxicated. He was 28, attractive, and feeding me more drugs/alcohol. The next day I was discussing the crazy “dream” I thought I had had when my friend confirmed that it was not a dream: he had filmed us having sex. Needless to say I don’t really remember the details. A few nights later he showed up in a suit knocking on my window. It was 2 am on Christmas Eve. Really?
-------
Up until this point I had never had a one night stand but after having a few exchanges with a guy who works at a bar I frequent, I decided to text him. We met up at a bar where he claimed he was too broke to buy me a drink but nonetheless I brought him back to my place where instead of foreplay, my hair was pretty much ripped out of my head while being enveloped in some strange embrace that only he found sexy. Afterward he showed off a horrifying tattoo of a vagina on his body, which looked more like chewed gum (artistic interpretation?) and we proceeded to have the most unsatisfying sex of my life.
Request for Tour Guide
Yeah, sure, I'm so devoid of friends that I want to hang out with some random dude that's not even interested in dating. Honestly???
-----------
Hello my name is Robert and I am on assignment in Maryland for the next 2 months. I am 33 SWM looking for someone to hangout with. I am not just looking to hook up for a one night stand. I am not concerned with sex, just looking for someone to take in the local sights. I want to visit DC, Baltimore and NYC on the weekends. If you would like to hangout sometime reply with a picture. I will send you a picture when you email me. CL only allows for 150KB message, so I cannot send you a picture.
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Hello my name is Robert and I am on assignment in Maryland for the next 2 months. I am 33 SWM looking for someone to hangout with. I am not just looking to hook up for a one night stand. I am not concerned with sex, just looking for someone to take in the local sights. I want to visit DC, Baltimore and NYC on the weekends. If you would like to hangout sometime reply with a picture. I will send you a picture when you email me. CL only allows for 150KB message, so I cannot send you a picture.
Nascar Outlaw
I enjoyed receiving this:
nascaroutlaw@sprint.blackberry.net
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cm9tIG15IFNwcmludMKuIEJsYWNrQmVycnk=
nascaroutlaw@sprint.blackberry.net
TmljZSBhZCBoYXZlIGEgc3dlZXQgZGF5DQpEb24NClNlbnQgb24gdGhlIE5vdyBOZXR3b3JrmSBm
cm9tIG15IFNwcmludMKuIEJsYWNrQmVycnk=
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