Online Dating Rejects

Jeffrey Robert Schott

2011-04-04T14:47:00.006-04:00

His name is Jeffrey Robert Schott. He's married, and he dates through match.com. Just a warning to those of you who may come across him. He lives in Wailua Hawaii (currently), and used to reside in DC, Allentown, PA and Heidelburg, DE.

I met him in November of 2008 and had a 4 month relationship with him while he was living in Washington, DC (Georgetown to be exact). I was under the impression that I was the only person he was dating. Little did I know that not only was I likely not the only one, but he had a wife back in Germany. Now, I never knew this all of the time we dated. Jeff ended our relationship when he told me he was too stressed, didn't have the proper amount of time for me, and didn't want a girlfriend at that time. He also told me he would be moving away soon, so that would make things impossible.

If you would like the complete story about this man, feel free to email me through my profile on here. I will be glad to share.

Triangle of Truth

2010-12-16T09:55:00.001-05:00

Some new ones

2010-08-24T14:24:00.002-04:00

Of course there's lots of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd love to catch and mount back at my place. hi im jose ;)

-----

Good Evening,

I hope you are doing well on this lovely Monday evening, here it
is approaching 10:30 pm and have to admit I am quite intrigued and
interested after reading your ad, and I have to admit and be
honest, I figured here is an intelligent lady someone that can actually
make a clear concise sentence, so she must have a head on her
shoulder and not use it only as a hat rack!!! I do have a warped
sense of humor might be all those years I was confined in
something long black and full of seamen, aka nuclear powered
submarine!!! LOL. what you thought I was saying something else!!!
So let me introduce myself, my name is David, and to tell you I am
Jewish!!! I have not been a practicing one for some time, but I do
follow the holidays, it can be a part hard when I spent nearly half my
life in the US Navy and served primarily on fast attack submarines.
Yes, one of those, retired Navy Chief, nuclear trained, so I am one of
those engineering types, and right now, I am residing in Columbia,
MD and work in Union Bridge, MD at the LeHigh Cement plant there,
I am one of their industrial electrician,and I am new to this area
too!!! Earlier last year I was working in Bakersfield, California and
moved here in May 2009, and I purchased a three bedroom condo
here, and yes, that is a long story I would be happy to tell later, that
can be a nice talk!!! Oh, I forget to continue about myself, I am now
50 years old, damned cannot believe I made it to 50 and tall, if
you think 6'3" is tall!!!! I have a close trimmed red beard, okay it has
more white in it now, damned approaching half a century but still
going strong. I am not a smoker anymore, I stopped cold turkey on
July 1, 2000, so it has been some time for a puff, and decided to
stop smoking the same day I was served divorce papers from
my ex wife, figured if I was going to get rid of one bad habit might ask
well make it two and get rid of the ex!!! Remember I did warn you
about my sense of humor!!! Yes, I am divorced and my divorce was
finalized back in March 2003 and I have two sons, 23 and 22 and
they are on their own, finished with college and living in Connecticut.
I am originally from Connecticut and a few days after my graduation
from high school, I left for the navy and did not return to live in CT
until I retired 22 years later from the Navy!!! And then during my
divorce I was a road warrior, doing field service work on industrial
boilers and burners and more!!!! So i am dependable and caring
man, and I did not run away from my responsibilities during
my divorce, so we all have a little bit of baggage but I am looking for
someone to cuddle up next to at night, someone I can share my
body heat and let just see what else we can figure out together,
someone to be part of my life, are you willing to find out more? And
yes, I love to kiss too, and snuggling on the sofa as we watch a DVD
together!!! And can always try to erase those bad memories and give
you some new and enjoyable ones!!

So let see here it is getting ready to head off to bed, but I found your ad
and wanted to say hello. And thinking and believing that a nice quiet
romantic evening while sharing a nice meal and a bottle of wine, enjoying
both the food and company is perfect, as we talk and get to know each
other. So I know quite a few places I love to see and traveling all my
years in the Navy I have seen the world, but I do enjoy cruising, a lot
different on a cruise ship instead of a submarine, LOL, do you just need
a passport and we can see the Caribbean for starters!!! And then during
the cruise, we can enjoy being together, sharing meals, enjoying a few
drinks at a nice bar listening to music, not too loud we have to be able to talk!!!

So let me keep this short now, and hopefully I will hear back from
you!!!

David

The latest received...it's a novel!

2010-08-20T10:05:00.000-04:00

It's been along week at work, and you're hoping for a nice, quiet Friday night and Saturday. Your first impulse is to go straight home after work and spend the entire free time sound asleep. But, your co-workers are going to happy hour at the bar in the DoubleTree hotel around the corner. Free cocktails until 7:00! Just pretend you're a guest. They do it all the time. You have a glass of wine, then another as you and your friends unload some stress and make fun of that self-important guy who's always telling everyone how to do everything a little better. After a few hours, a couple people leave, then another and another and next thing you know, it's just you. You were just starting to feel good and energized, a little buzzed, and everyone disappeared. You should probably wait a while before you drive home, so you move to one of the lounge chairs, take out your paperback book and read while rubbing your aching neck.

I've been sitting in the lounge area, reading myself, having a few cocktails and watching you. Watching you laugh and relax and interact with your friends. Watching your eyes light up as your evening seemed to be beginning, then seeing your mood deflate as they each went their own way. I bring you another glass of wine and try to start up a conversation. You're trying to get more sober, not more drunk, so you politely accept it with no plans of actually drinking it. We make small talk for a few minutes and I can sense you're not in the mood. A bunch of people come in, loud and drunk and sit all around us. "Let's go over there- it's quiet, we can both read in peace" I suggest, pointing to a set of chairs across the lobby.

We take our drinks and books and head over to the comfortable couches. We chat a little, and read and drink. There are long silences, but not awkward ones. I excuse myself for a minute while you're buried in your book. I come back a few minutes later and set two more drinks on the coffee table. You say thank you, but you have no plans of even touching that one. Rather than sit back down, I come up behind you and put my hands on your neck. You're startled, and a little freaked out by a total stranger with his hands on your neck. "You've been working on your neck the whole time you've been here. I thought you could use some help". It's a public space, there are people around, so you relax a little. You really do need it. I work the back of your neck, on either side of your spine, and up into your hairline at the base of your skull. I've had a few classes, so I know how this works. First some gently rubbing to get your blood flow going, then slow, deep pressure on the muscles and tendons, along the edge of the bones. I go forward to just behind your ears, pressing hard with my fingertips, then down your neck to your shoulders. You close your eyes and lean back a little as I work the outside of your shoulders and your shoulder blades, where the tension has built up. It's nice to have big strong hands doing this for you. You reach forward for your glass of wine. That makes me smile. I am good, but I am also bad, and you have just extended your stay for another hour or more.

You don't say much, you're just enjoying the soft music, the wine and the massage. I work my way back to your shoulders, then all the way down each arm. Slowly rubbing, stretching, finding the pressure points. I get to your hands, which feel small in mine. I turn them over, rub your palms deeply, and tug at each finger. You're completely relaxed, enjoying this unexpected massage from a total stranger, a world away from your typical friday evening. "This is a weird time to ask, but what's your name?" "Tom. what's your's?" "Sheri" "Well Sheri, it's very nice to meet you. I have a phone call I have to take so I'm going somewhere quiet for a while. I'll be half an hour. This here is a key to room 916. I hope to find you there, in bed, panties only in a little bit." I take my phone out, looking at it as I walk around the corner.

You can't believe you're doing this. No, you're not going to. Maybe. What the fuck? Maybe the answer is another drink. Hmmm....Another drink. A few sips in, and you realize every drink not only makes you have to stay longer before you can drive, but loosens you up and makes it more likely. When was the last time you did something totally crazy? Fuck it. You're gonna go. Stop thinking about it, and just do it. Another drink, just to be sure and you head up. Nervously you unlock the door and step in. You look around and everything seems normal. A quick stop in the bathroom to freshen up, and you're committed. You go into the bedroom, shut the door, undress down to your panties and slip under the covers. You lie there, heart racing, wondering if this is smart? What if he's a pyscho? What am I doing here? You think it's all wrong and decide to leave. But just then you hear my key in the door, and it's too late.

Rather than come in the bedroom, I head straight for the shower. I have no idea if you're waiting for me in bed or not. I didn't see you in the lobby, but you might have, probably did, leave. Oh well. But just the chance that you're there is exciting. I get out of the shower, towel off and brush my teeth. I wrap the towel around my waist, but you it does little to hide my rock-hard cock. God, I hope she's there...

I open the door and see you in bed, covers pulled up to your neck. You say "Hey. I'm here. Not sure I should be, but I am" I smile. "I'm not so sure either, but let's try to figure that out." I walk over to the bed, climb on and straddle you. I lean down to kiss you. A light, dry kiss on your beautiful, full lips. You kiss back, and your tongue slips into my mouth, flicking mine. I hold your face gently and kiss you again. Your hands go to my back and pull me toward you. You feel so good. I kiss your chin, and slowly down your neck. My hand brushes down the thin sheet. I can see your hard nipples pressing against them. I resist the urge to pull the sheet down and instead rub over them lightly with my fingers through the soft fabric. You let out a little moan and press up towards me. I move down a little kiss your breast through the sheet. I lick your nipple. I bite it lightly. Mmmmm....I must see....I pull the covers down, exposing your whole body. You squirm around slowly while I admire it and think of the fun we're about to have.

I kiss you again, then gently bite your earlobe and start from there a long, slow trail with my tongue. Down your neck...out to your shoulder...down the outside of your chest, around your beast, down to your stomach. I kiss your belly, then start up with my tongue. I love to feel the weight of your breast from below. I tease it, licking and kissing all around it, in slightly smaller circles, then look up at you as i flick your nipple with my tongue. Mmmmm. I lick and suck it. I kiss it. I suck your hard nipple into my mouth, biting it with my lips while rolling my tongue all around it. I slowly bring my hand up to the other one and squeeze it while using my mouth on this one. I take your other nipple between my thumb and forefinger and roll it around. You make the cutest little hot-girl-needs-to-be-fucked noises. You loosen my towel and it falls to the bed. My cock is hard and throbbing. I stand up and bring it up to your mouth. You have me so hot, pre-cum is already leaking all over it. I slide just the tip between your lips. I feel your tongue flick at it. I pull it back and you make a pouty sad face. "Not now. There will be plenty of time for that later." This first part is going to be about you.

I flip you over. Yum. The way your ass fills your panties is just spectacular. I start down at your feet, rubbing the bottom of them, making you feel even more relaxed. I work up slowly, spending a lot of time on your calves, massaging them deeply with my strong hands. You start to feel like a toy in my hands. We both kind of like it. I move up to work on your hamstrings, and part your legs just a bit. I run my hands slowly up them, over your ass, and give each cheek at rub down. I flip you back over, straddle you again and kiss your belly. I move down ever so slowly, kissing and licking. I can see the wetness showing through your panties. Mmmmm. i want some sooo badly. So very badly. I use my finger to lightly trace the edge of your panties. I rub your lips through them and you start to grind into my finger a little.

I bring my mouth down and give you a long, slow deliberate lick, parting your pussy a bit through the sheer fabric. I can feel the warmth and get a little taste. I want more. I grab the top of your panties with my teeth and left them up. I look up at you but your eyes are closed. "Watch. It turns me on when you watch", I say. I start to pull them down and I finally get to see your beautiful pussy. Your neatly trimmed bush. Your clit dying to be touched. I sit up and roughly pull them all the way down, and toss them aside. I bring my cock back up to your mouth and try to slip it in. You lick the head once, then purse your lips, shake your head no and give me a sly, sexy smile.

I go back down between your legs. You smell so good. I can't wait any longer to taste you. I remind you to watch and I put my mouth on your pussy, just below your clit. I kiss you and flick my tongue just a little, then another long, slow, deep lick that parts your lips and finishes on your clit. I kiss and lick your lips...one side, then the other, always from bottom to top so I can finish with my tongue on your clit. I spread your lips with my fingers, completely exposing your clit. I kiss it. I flick it with the tip of my tongue and nibble it with my lips. I use the wide, flat part of my tongue to lick in every direction as my hands slip under your butt so I can pull you closer to my mouth. You're so wet. You taste so sweet. You look down between your legs and see the muscles from my broad shoulders supporting my weight and my mouth on your pussy. I start sliding my tongue inside you and move my hands up to your breasts. I cup them and squeeze them gently, sensing their weight while my tongue slides in and out of your dripping wet pussy. I sit up for a minute and admire the scene. You are so beautiful, so exposed, so vulnerable naked on the bed, legs bent at the knees and spread, your delicious wet pussy begging for attention.

I move up to play with your titties some more. You grab them and squeeze them for me while I lick and suck at your hard nipples. You reach down between my legs and grab my throbbing cock, guiding it toward your pussy. Mmmm I want to be inside you so very badly. I press it up against you. I grab my cock with my hand and rub the head on your clit. I slap it lightly on your clit over and over. I use the head to slice your lips apart and slip just the tip inside you. Mmmmmm. You're so tight, but so wet and warm that I could so easily slide deep inside you. Instead I pull out and go back to kissing your belly. You nudge my face down and thrust up toward me. Your hot pussy is begging for attention, for something to be inside it...cock, finger, tongue, anything. I kiss and lick your inner thighs, coming oh-so close to where you want my tongue. I go to kiss your clit but stop just short and blow on it. I gently stroke your lips while blowing on your clit and every once in a while letting my tongue have a quick flick, a small taste.

I slide a finger deep inside you. I like to watch it slowly going in, then out. I pull it out a lick it. You really are delicious. I spread you lips with my fingers again and go back to sucking and licking your clit, while gently fingering you. Your moaning and thrusting is really making me want to cum. I want to fuck you hard and fast, but first I was to hear you cum, feel you shudder. So I keep sucking your clit, flicking it with my tongue and fingering you with two fingers. I drive them deep inside you and twist them, exploring you with my mouth and fingers while you hold my head in place between your legs. You thrust harder and faster and I keep licking until you scream in ecstasy and push my face away.

I crawl up next to you and spoon you for a few minutes while you recover. You're spent, but my cock is still throbbing and aching for some attention. I gently roll you over again onto your stomach and I stand by the edge of the bed. I bring my cock up to your mouth again, and you open for it. Your mouth feels so good, so wet on my cock. I watch you kiss and suck me, and I keep staring at your naked ass, you legs spread just a little. I want more of your pussy. I pull out of your mouth and you give me a sexy pout. I position myself at the bottom of the bed and start kissing up your leg again. As I get up above your knees, I spread them even further. Mmmmm. I can see your beautiful pussy, still red and swollen. That's what I want. I spread your cheeks and life your ass up in the air. You lean into my face as I kiss and lick your pussy, still dripping wet. I grab your hips and pull you into my face. So fucking hot, bent over, ass in the air for me to devour.

I love being behind you, the feeling of power and control. I tell you to play with your tits for me. I pull back to watch. You are so hot. So ripe to be fucked, bent over, on your elbows, pinching your nipples and grinding your wet, exposed pussy. I climb on the bed an bring my cock up between your legs. You lean back and take me all the way in. All the way. In, then out. I thrust deep inside you and hold you still. I pull out slowly. It's so hot to watch. My cock slowly slides out, glistening with you. I lie next to you and stroke my cock a few times for you, then guide your head toward it. I lift your leg so you can settle your pussy over my mouth while you take me in yours.

You lower your pussy to where I can tongue you and you take my cock in both hands. I thrust my hips as you kiss and lick me. It feels so good, I could cum any second. I thrust harder and faster and you basically just open your mouth for it. I fuck your mouth as you occasionally kiss the head and lick me. I feel an orgasm build. I open my eyes and see your pussy right in front of me. I want to lick you, but I can barely move except to try to stay in your mouth. I see and feel your hard nipples dragging along my stomach and that sends me over the top. I let out a moan as I cum. A spurt in your mouth, then you pull me out and use your hands. I cum for what seems like a full minute, all down your neck, your shoulders, between your titties. We both lie there in bed, exhausted and in disbelief over what we did...

Something from the ladies...

2010-04-29T08:12:00.001-04:00

Hello My Name Is brenda louis,I am new to this online relationship
seeking,How are u doing,Do you know that men and women are angels
created with only one wing? And they need to embrace each other to
be able to fly... I Hope to find my angel whom i can fly with
forever. Went through your profile caught my eye,Ur Picx really
look so great and good looking,I will like to get to know more
about u will like to know what u looking for in a relationship,As
for me i am looking for a Woman who is honest loving caring kind
hear ted open minded who has sense of humor understandable
considerate loyal polite calm and generous person who has a
prestige and integrity.i would like to see some others pictures of
ur self and i will also exchange mine with u as soon i get ur picx
or u could send me ur email where u would want me email me some of
my pictures to u.I look forward to hear from u soonest and see what
goes on from there or u can also hit me up at brendalouis83 at yah
Take Care

my mom tatted on my ribs..rip. i miss u.

2010-04-28T12:40:00.002-04:00

nuff said:

The Lord Told Me To Date

2010-04-13T14:41:00.002-04:00

I am James, a servant of God, and of the Lord Jesus.

My Self-Summary

Greetings, I'm James!

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.

God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong,c and he never tempts anyone else. Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.

So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.d He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.

What I’m doing with my life

Seeking first the Kingdom of God!

The first things people usually notice about me

I have been set apart as holy to the LORD my God, and he has chosen me from all the nations of the earth to be his own special treasure!!!!

The six things I could never do without

Believers who are poor have something to boast about, for God has honored them. And those who are rich should boast that God has humbled them. They will fade away like a little flower in the field. The hot sun rises and the grass withers; the little flower droops and falls, and its beauty fades away. In the same way, the rich will fade away with all of their achievements.

I spend a lot of time thinking about

I fix my thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. I think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise because my Lord instructs me to do so!!

Stop worrying about your life—what you will eat or what you will drink—or about your body—what you will wear. Life is more than food, isn't it, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky. They don't plant or harvest or gather food into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. You are more valuable than they are, aren't you? Can any of you add a single hour to the length of your life by worrying?

And why do you worry about clothes? Consider the lilies in the field and how they grow. They don't work or spin yarn, but I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them. Now if that is the way God clothes the grass in the field, which is alive today and thrown into an oven tomorrow, won't he clothe you much better—you who have little faith?

“So don't ever worry by saying, ‘What are we going to eat?’ or ‘What are we going to drink?’ or ‘What are we going to wear?’ because it is the gentiles who are eager for all those things. Surely your heavenly Father knows that you need all of them! But first be concerned about God's kingdom and his righteousness, and all of these things will be provided for you as well.

So never worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

I have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God, but the gift of God is eternal life!

I HAVE BEEN REDEEMED BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST!!!!

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/servantofchrist?cf=regular

Today has been busy!

2010-04-12T15:04:00.002-04:00

Hi,

How are you today? l hope you are doing good. l just want to say Hi to you because l found interest on you. you looks so young and romantic dear. l would love to hear from you my dear. this is my yahoo I D,xxxxxx@yahoo.com, and i we like to have ur own I D too, ok... so have a nice day...

with love,
Smith

Ahhh...

2010-04-12T15:00:00.001-04:00

HELLO I WAS GOING THROUGH PROFILE ON HERE AND STUMBLE TO YOURS WHICH GOT ME CAPTIVATING COS YOU LOOK LIKE MY MISSING ANGEL....SMILE BACK AT ME...............YOUR PROFILE INTEREST ME WHY DON'T YOU JUST SMILE BACK AT ME WITH BIT OF SCHOOLING ABOUT YOUR GORGEOUS SELF

The Latest...

2010-04-12T08:58:00.001-04:00

we would get along good i can say that now,but you say he dont know me so get along how,then i say loving life ,knowing theres more then what is actually seen,the beauty of a flower ,the feelings that real deep music can evoke ,in us,the emotins two who feel each other can conjur in one another ,lets learn each other so much ,that when you glance my way i know all you want to say without speaking one w ord,let me read to you at nite by candle light,lets laugh so hard our stomaches hurt ,i got you ill say ma if you ever feel afraid,come into my arms ill give you contentness,any way thats all i have to say ,no its not a copy of anything i wrote for anyone else ,i have been on this site three days and was awestruck once i saw you ,hope your day was well sincerely ,Rick

Jeremiah was a Bullfrog

2010-03-26T09:53:00.002-04:00

Keywords Update

2010-03-26T09:46:00.001-04:00

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Sideways...it's not just a movie

2010-03-26T09:38:00.000-04:00

OMG!

2010-03-26T09:14:00.002-04:00

No explanation necessary!

Yeeeeeeeeee Haw

2010-03-26T09:07:00.003-04:00

http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=18769025

Angry Businessman is back!

2010-03-26T09:05:00.001-04:00

He's obviously forgotten that he already contacted me and I chewed him out, so here's the latest:

I'm a good honest man and it looks like you're a great woman.
I seem to be having a bit of a tough time trying to find a good woman that actually want a man who knows what he wants out of life and exactly how to get it.
It's as if all most woman want these days is some long haired, tattooed bum that spends his non working hours in a drunken stupor at the local bar or in front of the TV.
I'm interested in getting to know you, take a look at my profile.
I hope to hear back from you.
Justin

Of course, I didn't reply then received:

What, I have to much on the ball I supose. Not interested in motivated men I suppose.

Couldn't resist a reply:

Hi, my name is Jennie, and I would love to talk to you. You can see more of my photos and talk to me at http://www.jenniedoescams.com. Enter your credit card number and I'll talk to you soon!

And another:

What, you think I cost too much money? I thought you wanted to talk!

One final one:

Come on, i'm interested in you. Let's get together. Why are you ignoring me? Men don't know a good woman when they see one.

Sadly, I received no reply.

Here we go again

2010-03-26T09:02:00.002-04:00

Got this one today:

sounds to me like you need to be tamed i think i haave the cure just for you good looking i graduated from smartass university so hoe are you todat

Taking a Hiatus

2009-12-14T09:47:00.001-05:00

So, obviously nothing really spectacular has come out of online dating these days. I've pulled my ads for now. I might post one on CL once in awhile for entertainment purposes. Before I go, I decided to clean out my inbox, so here are a few remaining gems:

I'm extremly good at what I do. W/M 45 6'4 7' Cock

To me the most memorable moments of love making or intercourse occurs during foreplay. Those moments when tongues and lips and gentle nibbles are felt prior to penetration.

I love going down on a woman to get her relaxed and enjoy having her legs over my shoulder while I am licking her clit and opening her up with my finger and rubbing around the area to find her G-spot!!! Also like going down around the ass licking it and getting her to grab my hair to get me back lick her clit and fingering her, opening her more and when she is ready for me to put my cock inside her, will have to tease her a little bit to get her a little excited and when the time is right start pounding the pussy and putting her legs up over my shoulders fucking the hell out of her.Those moments when your nipples are so hard they ache, you are wet with the anticipation of the next erotic sensual feel of a tongue against your lips. When your entire being is focused on the sensation that you are experiencing at that moment. Well that what I bring to the table. A magic tongue.

Opening you up and getting you fingers inside you but it does need a little lubrication to open you up, once thats done getting 1 finger in and teasing you and then the 2nd finger getting deeper and then the 3rd and by that time while inside you working and taking my time feeling around watching your face getting even more excited as I am finding that G-spot. Your face tells me if I am getting closer and closer and then having you erupted on my fingers and telling me to go deeper inside you.

--------

very charming guy, has a 4 bed room house drive a range rover

--------

Sounds like you may not be able to handle a good looking guy that is 54, and white. Good luck and have a nice day.

More Keyword Analysis

2009-12-06T16:52:00.002-05:00

First - to the gal I was chatting with at Omegle - my internet dropped out - you were hilarious, feel free to drop me an email, it's on my profile.

NEXT:

Num	Perc.	Search Term
14	17.50%	bare chested men
4	5.00%	BARE CHESTED MEN BLOGSPOT
3	3.75%	barechested men
2	2.50%	my photo editions online
2	2.50%	barechested older men
2	2.50%	online dating rejects
2	2.50%	your race affects whether
2	2.50%	dating nub profile
2	2.50%	online dating blogspot
2	2.50%	bare-chested black men
2	2.50%	best men's dating emails
1	1.25%	pof funny profiles
1	1.25%	black stud blogspot
1	1.25%	your race affects whether people write you back
1	1.25%	10 Stupid Things Men Do
1	1.25%	photo men blog
1	1.25%	online dating @hotmail 2009
1	1.25%	wtf online dating
1	1.25%	can you find out when the profile was created in pof?
1	1.25%	things to talk about in dating email
1	1.25%	when hot men say stupid things
1	1.25%	guys with cell phones
1	1.25%	online dating blog blogdspot.com
1	1.25%	photo funny edition online
1	1.25%	what guys do wrong online dating
1	1.25%	black stud dating
1	1.25%	POF profile
1	1.25%	things men do wrong on a date
1	1.25%	"online dating" blogger.com
1	1.25%	men emails
1	1.25%	hot enough dating reject
1	1.25%	dating top ten things to do
1	1.25%	arm candy wanted
1	1.25%	craigslist jehovah
1	1.25%	online dating she saw picture of me
1	1.25%	bare chest photos Virginia
1	1.25%	rejects online dating
1	1.25%	scruffster
1	1.25%	stupid things to do with email address
1	1.25%	my first online date blogspot.com
1	1.25%	funny stupid things men do
1	1.25%	jehovah witness updates
1	1.25%	photo cropping funny online dating
1	1.25%	jehovah's witness alcoholics anonymous
1	1.25%	POF example profile
1	1.25%	pof douchebags
1	1.25%	dating blogspot
1	1.25%	online dating emails things to talk about
1	1.25%	stupid corporate emails
1	1.25%	what is a pof profile
1	1.25%	things to do with an email
1	1.25%	new profile on pof
1	1.25%	photo bare chest men
1	1.25%	reporting a profile on POF

Ahh...some fresh ones

2009-12-03T12:13:00.000-05:00

I haven't logged in for awhile, but here are a few choice emails I've received:
First, from a 46 year old that can't use spell check - I get this:

Snickerdoodles are nmy favorite cookie. I love to be outdoors and while I hate run, I love to bike.The Caribean is Paradise endless Summer. If you want to contact me view my profile first.

I love that his profile says:

Looking For: Short-term dating, Casual sex

and:

My Self Summary:

I am currently in the process of healing from a marraige gone bad. I have not dated in quite some time. I am looking for someone who is understanding of my limited time and wants to explore their boundries. I am intersted in the envirornment, whole foods yoga and mans connection to spirit. I used to scuba dive and would like to get back into that. I also like to hike and bike. I don't relax well (too busy) but perhaps with the right person I could learn.

You should message me if:

you could put up with someone who puts his kids first and does not have alot of free time, but loves to talk on the phone and wants go out to listen to live music, blues or rock and whatever.....;)

I think he's looking for phone sex. Yeah, sign me up buddy.

-----------

The next email I get was apparently a missed IM. Didn't know I had IM up, but oh well. It said:

how are you

Gee. That really makes me want to respond! Along with this, from his profile:

I'm really good at:

stuck in traffic

I THINK BRIAN REALLY WUNTS TO TALK TO ME

2009-11-22T18:24:00.000-05:00

WELL HELLO THERE

Nov. 22, 2009 – 6:16pm

MY NAME IS BRIAN AND I WOULD LOVE TO TALK TO YOU, YOU SOUND LIKE A CHALLANGE...IN A GOOD WAY, I THINK I CAN KEEP UP WITH YOUR PACE, EXCEPT FOR THE RUNNING--I WOULD RATHER BE AT THE FINISH LINE WITH FLOWERS AND A BOTTLE OF THE BUBBLY TO CONGRADULATE YOU..I HAVE ALSO DONE ALOT OF THINGS AS YOU HAVE, BUT THERE IS ALWAYS MORE THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE, IN NEED ADVENTYRE, THRILLS-SOMEONE SPONTANEOUS, THAT WILL EITHER DO IT OR HAS DONE IT, THERE IS NO CONTEMPLATING HERE!

MY PROFILE ON HERE IS NOT UP TO DATE, THEY ARE MY PICTURES, ABOUT ME QUICK:: 40 yrs old, 6'-0" TALL, LIGHT BROWN HAIR, HAZEL EYES, WEIGHING ABOUT 145, SKINNY/ATHLETIC, WILLING O TRY ANYTHING YOU THROW AT ME,

HOPE YOUR INTERESTED, HERS IS MY E-MAIL ADRESS::

www.BrianShellenberger@gmail.com

OR IF YOUR ON YAHOO

www.BLS_687@yahoo.com

HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT WEEKEND
LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU BRIAN

Ahh, some fun profiles....

2009-11-22T18:21:00.000-05:00

I really like this one. I'm sure it's self explanatory, but I plan to immortalize the text from both his 'about me' and his 'first date' sections...I'm guessing "Rusheed" doesn't realize that he has put his 'form email' in the body of his profile instead of in an email. Then again, maybe he does and doesn't care...

Hi,
My name is Rachid "Rusheed". I hope you are doing well. I very much enjoyed reading your profile and upon finishing that , I decided to write to you. Like you, I believe things happen for a good reason and there is wisom to be learned from each act in our lives. It depends on us if we are capable to read between the lines and view thing with the vision of our minds and not only our eyes.. I am spirtual and I find peace and plasure in pondering, contemplating and analysing things. I can go on and on... Hopefully, I can hear from you and see if we have more interesting things to share.
Have a wonderful day. I am about to go out to Baltimore harbor, I love walking around the harbor, have a Potbelly sandwich and maybe a Haggen Daz Ice cream from the food court there and watch the boat from the bench... them make it back home... today is sunny and beautiful and I do not want to miss it ... Have fun! :) Rusheed.
PS: I changed my birthday on here by one year lol 1973 to 1974 so I can send you this message lol.

http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=16397644

Also, a bitter woman for the collection:

Because the way to save your marriage is to 'get even' instead of 'getting a divorce'. My fave part is how she says she only plans to be with 2 men. Her affair, and her husband (who cheated on her). I guess she doesn't hate him enough to stop having sex with him. ha!

I am on this site mainly because my husband sees fit to fill out every god d*mn cheating website known to man, and thinks that I will never find out and I always do.

Well guess what mother ****er two can play this game
Let's see if the grass is greener on the other side

* Update- Let me clarify the meaning of "getting even" I am not the kind of girl that spreads her legs to a total stranger, I need to know you first and have some kind of feelings for you and also I need to be attracted to you as well, it is not just a one way street here. The person I choose to be with on the "side", since my husband doesn't seem to know the value of marriage, will be someone who respects me as a woman and does not go sticking his****in every woman he meets, I will be with one man only besides my scum bag husband. Ok let's just say I am looking for an affair NSA, if that makes any sense..........Thankyou! Any sickos out there that just want to meet and **** will immediately get deleted and blocked!

http://www.plentyoffish.com/member9978706.htm

Keyword Analysis Fun!!

2009-11-09T10:45:00.000-05:00

These are the most recent keywords that people have used to find this blog. No commentary necessary:

drill down    6    19.35%    bare chested men
drill down    2    6.45%    online dating jail
drill down    2    6.45%    blog ur hot
drill down    2    6.45%    BARE CHESTED OLDER MEN
drill down    2    6.45%    blackstud
drill down    2    6.45%    dating blogspot
drill down    2    6.45%    online dating first call rejects call
drill down    1    3.23%    online dating rejecting men
drill down    1    3.23%    how race affects people
drill down    1    3.23%    guys with cell phones
drill down    1    3.23%    people with disease are out to get online daters
drill down    1    3.23%    stainshane
drill down    1    3.23%    hookers on line
drill down    1    3.23%    husband is receiving emails from online dating sites...is this just spam?
drill down    1    3.23%    flattery will get you nowhere
drill down    1    3.23%    dating someone terminally ill
drill down    1    3.23%    "Your Race Affects Whether People Write You Back"
drill down    1    3.23%    stupid dating site emails
drill down    1    3.23%    stupid things to do and say on your profile
drill down    1    3.23%    jehovah witnesses are a fucking joke

RE: The new tactic

2009-11-09T10:41:00.000-05:00

So I got an email on PoF this weekend, and the title was: RE: Looking for a good woman!

Naturally, my first thought was "oh, someone I've been emailing with has responded!". I'm sure this is just what the guy wanted me to think. So, I opened it. At this point I guess I should expect a virus to pop out and infect my computer, but the only thing I got was a pathetic email and ugly profile that infected my eyes.

I love this tactic. I'm sure he's banking on a reply of "I don't know what you're talking about? We haven't been corresponding?" Or better yet, me calling him and saying "oh hi, I'm so sorry we've been having phantom correspondence, and so I decided to take you up on your offer to call you, hun".

Anyways:

Hello! How are you? Did you have a nice weekend? I worked overtime for a few hours today. We had some jets return from Texas that I had to recover and perform post-flight inspections on. I rode my Harley yesterday, bought the new Android Verizon Cell phone, it's awesome..I'm playing around with it trying to get used to all the bells and whistles. I worked out, did some cooking, some partying too. Last night went and listened to Stiff Richard, that was fun. How about you? You can call you know, that way we would have to be emailing back and forth. That's if you don't mind, ok? Well here's my number, I really hope to hear from you either way whatever works for you hun.

Thanks for your interest and consideration as well. Further, congratulations for being so beautiful and sweet.

LOL,

Scott
443*XXX*XXXX

Delusional in West Virginia...

2009-11-05T11:21:00.000-05:00

Photo Edition: Men with Fish

2009-11-05T11:09:00.002-05:00

Reader submitted: Crazyness from the Ladies

2009-11-05T10:41:00.000-05:00

I'm an equal opportunity blogger, so here is something a male reader received contact from:

Heyhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

2009-11-05T08:29:00.000-05:00

Yes, the title is exactly as I received it:

hope you are enjoying it out there .I won't mind if we could know each other better .Let's try to exchange some words if we might have anything in common .I believe there is a reason why you and i have joined this dating site, so Let's see if we can make it happen .
You can email me on xxxxx@yahoo.com

Feel free to write me about yourself

Be Blessed

Choose Your Own CL/CE Adventure

2009-11-03T10:49:00.003-05:00

DoucheScan(TM)

2009-10-30T12:10:00.000-04:00

Posted in CL. For amusement by me:

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If you act now, we will throw in our convenient Pocket Dictionary of DoucheBags at no additional cost! This handy guide will give you the lo down on all various types of data output you can expect to encounter with DoucheScan. If you are not thoroughly satisfied after trying DoucheScan for 30 days, you can return the DoucheScan for a full refund, and keep the Pocket Dictionary as our gift to you.

For the next hour, the first 500 callers will get a SECOND DoucheScan to keep in your car, or in your vacation home for travel douchebag busting!

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VULGAR (indeed).

2009-10-29T12:15:00.003-04:00

hello ......how are you ? ..........fine i hope .......are you online now / still looking ? .........or am i already to late ? :-).......would luv to be the one to invite you over ..... have you a nice warm bubble bath ready , scented candles , soft music , a lil wine ......as i gently washed your soft body all over .... then take you by the hand while your still dripping wet from bath and lead you to the bed room ......as i lay you down on your tummy and rub and massage you down , as you feel my strong hands under you soft skin .....as i roll you over and kiss you and taste your sweet tounge while rubbin your breast
and my hands continue exploring your body as i kiis and rub you all the way down , youir neck , your breast , your tummy .......licking and k
issing your inner thigh........so close i can feel your " sweet warmth" on my face and smell you sweet scent as i turn my hungry tounge tonunge towards your soft wet clit ..as i taste your sweet pussy for the first time ......licking and sucking you from your ass to your clit .........as i fuck you long and deep with my tounge .......as you grind on my face and wrap your legs around me , giving me a mouthful of your wet pussy as i slide my finger in and out of your wet ass .......as you reach down n start to stroke my already hard dick while i'm stil lickin n suckin u .....you turn your body just enough to take me inside your warm sweet mouth ......as we lick and suck each other till we can take no more .......me now wanting to be inside your pussy as much as u want my dick ........i pull u close tp me and give you
along deep passionate kiss so we can share the sweet take of your pussy still on my lips ......as you reach down and start to guide my hard dick insdie you .............as my stiff dick touch;s against your clit for the first time , we both let out a moan of pleasure .........as i go deeper insdie you ....feeling your warm wet jucies all over my hard dick ....as i grab your waist and p ull u deeper onto my dick ...as the scent and the sounds of or passion fill the room .......as i begin to ...

Odds and Ends

2009-10-21T08:52:00.000-04:00

Not much going on lately... just getting the usual "hi, u r hot" and "hey want to chat?" and the like.

But I came across a few interesting images today.

Advice for the Boys...

2009-10-16T12:45:00.001-04:00

This article is 200% true. Follow this, and your chances will increase two-fold.

Advice for Men

Your Race Affects Whether People Write You Back

2009-10-16T12:39:00.001-04:00

While the tone of this article is a bit off - it doesn't take into account that often people of the same race prefer their own race because of comfort level/religion/the way they were raised - or the fact that sometimes you just aren't physically attracted to someone, it was interesting to see these data comparisons on rate of response by sex/race. Take it with a grain of salt. Being the big data nerd I am, I loved their stats charts. Goobery goodness for all:

Your race affects whether people write you back or not

I love eharmony

2009-10-13T15:19:00.001-04:00

So I admit, the answers I am giving these guys are definitely retarded and meant to try to turn them off. However, I am still getting responses. My goal is to see if I can get any of them to actually close the match before I do. So far, I'm losing at this game. I just received this email today:

Subject: Hi
Message: I would say I'm a little less hairy in person than in my photos but you never know I could actually be more hairy, it all depends on the location of the hair, how about you? Sometimes I get wild & color the hair in certain areas depending on the mood. Additionally, about every week I shave so the amount of hair on my face fluctuates by a millimeter or two. Let's plan a call to discuss these pressing issues and more. Cedric XXX-XXX-XXXX

He rocks for children...

2009-10-13T13:16:00.001-04:00

After being emailed no less than 6 times by the same guy (who happens to play rock music for a children's show) I finally lost it and replied:

Me: How many times do I have to ignore you before you get the point?

Him: And you wonder why you are single with that rude response. well you could just block me and that would settle it but really i go in segments about coming on this site and I forget who I have talked to. Apparently it's not working to well for you either since you have been on here for so long.

Me: Well you've emailed me no less than 5 times and I did block you, so I'm not sure how you managed to email me again. Back to being blocked...some of us are single because we have standards in life.

You sound bitter!

Him (with tail between legs now): Hm, yeah perhaps a glitch on the site. That could have avoided this. Bitter? Nah, I have no problems meeting people or dating but still have not found the one - much I'm sure like your case.

Good luck

Another Photo Edition: Men on Bikes

2009-10-13T11:17:00.000-04:00

More photo funny

2009-10-13T10:58:00.000-04:00

These are the only 2 photos this guy posted on his profile. No, I did not do any cropping!

Today's Photo Edition: Bare Chested Men

2009-10-13T10:57:00.000-04:00

WOW...wtf??

2009-10-11T12:11:00.001-04:00

ever had that tight tight wet pussy around a big black cock

Oh, and his user name is: whitetailfever.

REALLY who says this in email?

I AM OLD FASHION!

2009-10-09T13:03:00.001-04:00

Thought I stop and say Hi,
I have been single now for a year and I have to say, I have a pretty good life, I go and come as I please.
but sometime when the light are low and that little voice in my head starts to speak, I too can get a little lonely.
Then I read one or two profiles and say oh my!
So I saw you profile and thought I would stop to say HI and see if you want to chat? BUT I DID SAY HI! I AM NOT SHY BUT I AM OLD FASHION

well thanks for reading this, if you want to chat drop me a line or too... who knows what tomorrow holds. Well happy hunting and May God Bless you with all you need and all you want.

The following images were attached to this message.

Today's WTF:

2009-10-09T11:39:00.001-04:00

Safety pin nipple piercing with tag. (sounds like the title of a painting: Still life with bird and apple).

Today's gems...

2009-10-09T11:20:00.004-04:00

Have I mentioned how much I love men that can't spell properly and have bad grammar? To put it in perspective, I have plans to move to Prague at some point to teach English as a Second Language. I also got a perfect score on the verbal section of my SAT's. Now, the math part, we won't discuss...

Just thought I would say hit. Tired of trying to say the right thing to convince someone your worht talking to.

Changed my profile a bit but I dont think that you can truly show who you are by writting it.

I love running working out and biking as well. I did a dualathon last year my first one and want to do more. I train about 6 days a week with weights but I really really want to get the running and biking down.

Anyway hope to hear from you.

Being single for me stinks, been single for sometime. Not into the bar scene to much, well hold on, like to go just not a place I wish to meet a person whom I would like to date.

Anyway trying to find somehting to do this weekend, if your bored and would like to gedt out for a drink or a bite to eat I would love to hear from you.

and the ever prominent:

WANNA CHAT

More bad english:

How are you?Do you like to do some kind of sport?

I'm LOLing. barf.

Angry Businessman31

2009-10-09T08:54:00.003-04:00

I just thought I'd bump this guy's emails to me up, since I found his profile on PoF. So everyone can see what I dealt with. I think my favorite part of his profile is this: I could push you in the swing, just learn about each other.

Angry Business Man 31

So these are the emails he sent (I already posted these earlier)

Progressive series from angry man due to my lack of response:

First email:

You're a very beautiful woman!
What's your name?
Do you like the beach?
I love the beach!
I own a place outside of Lewes, Delaware, I go down allot ( eat crabs, swim, work on my tan.
Just so you know I'm far from being like most of these guys on this site, I own a couple of businesses, I own apartments and have very big goals and dreams in life.
I'd like to talk with you, if you would.
Just take a look at my profile and see if you like what you see.
Have a great day, I hope to hear back from you.
Justin

Second (within 1 hour):

God forbid any of you woman would actually respond to a simple, I want to get to know you message

Third (a few hours later):

You don't know a winner when you see one and when a motivated go getter like myself is interested in you, you'd prefer to "SEE WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE", YOU WOMAN DON"T DESERVE A MAN LIKE ME.
Why do I say that?
Simple, I first sent you a simple Hi I'm Justin, I want to get to know you further message however, you'd rather have trailer park Joe than a nice Man that actually has one heck of a great life now and future ahead of me, again, if you'd actually read my profile, it should jump right off the page at you and you'd know what I'm talking about!
Blame me all you want for being blunt, but this is the truth, deny it all you will, you'll say, "WELL WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, I'M NOT INTERESTED.
Don't you see however the problem is that, when I sent you the, I want to get to know you better message and in my profile, I simply state that I'm a good Man that's not a loser.
Do I receive a response to that?
Of course not, I'm telling you that you ladies should really take a good hard look at yourselves and examine why on Gods green Earth you would turn down even wanting to get to know a Man like myself.
Very strange!
Justin

Craigslist Postings continued...

2009-10-08T12:03:00.003-04:00

This is how I amuse myself. This was posted in "strictly platonic"

Test Yourself - win a friend (or a date?!) - w4m

Please select the applicable answer(s) from the following choices.

1) Which is the proper word to be used in the context of this sentence: "You're/Your a good friend."

A) Your
B) You're
C) I am an idiot
D) What?
E) Send pic please, k thnx!

2) How many CL ads have you recently responded to with the same photos and boring text?

A) < 5
B) > 500
C) I respond to anything, including porn/spam
D) What is < >?
E) I am lonely, love me

3) You are single. This really means:

A) I am married
B) I am married
C) I am married
D) I am married
E) I am actually single

4) You are:

A) easy going
B) funny/sweet/nice
C) well hung
D) a douchebag
E) a good guy

5) You are looking for:

A) sex
B) lots of sex
C) hot sex
D) a date
E) sex with a gal's foot

6) In your spare time you:

A) work out
B) think about working out
C) why would I work out?
D) tell people I work out
E) I am fat

7) You really look:

A) 30 but I'm really 40,50,60,70,80
B) I am actually in my 30's.
C) like Brad Pitt
D) like I need a shower
E) pasty white from lack of sun

Bonus points if you can guess my profession and/or spot the intentional error in this post.

PS. I AM NOT SPAM I AM NOT A BOT. If I don't reply, it's because I'm not interested, or you didn't answer right, or you have bad grammar, or I'm not bored enough!

Craigslists Ads I have Posted...

2009-10-08T11:43:00.002-04:00

This one is just getting right to the point here. I've had no responses at all. Damn, what's a girl have to do to get a sugar daddy around these heyah parts?

--------------

Looking for a Benefactor - w4m - 36 (DC)

Do you have money? Do you want to spend it on something stupid and frivolous? Would it make you feel better if you spent it on a woman? Are you tired of throwing crinkled dollar bills at dirty strippers who won't even say thank you before they try to bilk your wallet for the Andrew Jacksons you really have hidden deep inside?

Well you're in luck! I've got just the answer for you. Me!

Here's what I offer:

I'm female. I don't want to date/sleep or even talk to you, however I will thank you for any financial contributions you make to my cause. You can pay me in dollars, jacksons, or money orders, I don't care. Just please don't send me pennies, I'm not sure how I'd transport hundreds of dollars of them. I won't tell you what I look like, what I do, or where I live. Discretion is mandatory.

Is that extra cash burning a hole in your wallet and making you worry about the amount of money you'll have to send Uncle Sam at the end of this fiscal year?? Well, if you gift me money, you can consider it a donation to charity and it will be a great tax write off for you. Even better: if you send installments of under 10K, the IRS will not investigate you for money laundering!! Bonus!!!

So, in summary:

I want your cash.
I offer you nothing.

Sounds like a win/win situation to me! Hurry, act now!! Operators are standing by with my swiss bank account numbers. Don't miss out on this offer of a lifetime!

MALE ARM CANDY WANTED...possibly with Toes to Suck - w4m - 36 (candyland/bmore)

2009-10-08T11:37:00.003-04:00

So like I said, while I tried posting a 'serious' CL dating ad (yeah, I know that's an oxymoron) I also wanted to post some wacky things and compare results. Surprisingly (not?) the ad below attracted a lot more attention. Eventually it got flagged and removed. At least 5 times, so I gave up on reposting it. Oh well. I figured it deserved to be immortalized somewhere:

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Do you have an arm? Does it taste like Candy? Will you hang out on my arm with your candilicious tasting arm? Does it taste like cherry? Because I prefer cherry. Bonus points if your arm is muscular, and not hairy. However, your legs can be hairy and your underarms, but not your back or your face.

Do you have toes? Do you want me to suck them? No? Good. Because I don't want to. Do you want to suck mine? No? Good, because I don't want you to. Apparently though, there are some guys on here that want to just find a woman and suck her toes. Let me put this out up front. I don't want to suck your toes, or have my toes sucked. I don't really want to even have you looking at my feet. They are quite cute, but that's not really the point.

Do you use Twitter? Yes? No? It doesn't really matter, because I don't. And if I did, I wouldn't want you to follow me. However, if you are very cute, have a foreign accent, and like outdoorsy activities and are in good shape, maybe I would want you to follow me.

Do you send random photos of your junk to women on the internet? Hey, that's great if you are the kind of person that likes to share. Just don't share with me.

Do you enjoy dried mangos and olive tapenade from Trader Joes? Do you wait until the shipment of said dried mangos arrives, and then purchase them in bulk quantity? Do you decide to try the chili spiced mango one day when you realize they are out of the regular ones, and realize they aren't an acceptable substitute?

Is your name Ray? If it is, don't email me. I do discriminate based on names. That is one name I won't date. Sorry, Rays of the World. One Ray ruined it all. If your name is something foreign that is hard to pronounce, that would be a lot of fun for me. I enjoy names and words I can't pronounce. Especially if you can say the name or other words with a strong accent. If you can do a really good fake accent, I might be interested as well.

I'm in my 30's. Don't be 50,60,70,80, or dead. Don't be still sucking your thumb either. I mean, who wants to deal with a drooling hot guy with nice arm muscles on her arm? It would make eating my dried mangos a bit more challenging...

Top 10 stupid things men do in email:

2009-10-08T09:30:00.008-04:00

They say you only have one chance to make a first impression. Never is it more true than in a world where words and photos are the first thing a potential datee sees. Your manly smell, flirtatious gestures, and great personality don't get a chance to shine in an email, Kimosabe. So you might as well use that spell checker, type a full sentence and drop all the charm on the ladies. Don't hold back, really.

My list of top things men do wrong in first emails:

1) Say nothing but "hi" - Come on guys. Really? Hi? Wow, you know, that kind of email just makes me want to respond begging for a date. Especially when my profile says that I don't date boring men. So yeah, step right up Mr. Hi-How-Are-You-I've-Got-Nothing-Else-To-Say! I'll take two, please.

2) Talk about your penis - This one speaks for itself. Your penis, however, does not (and should not).

3) Talk about your sexual prowess - Again. Why? This is not adult friend finder.

4) Spell something wrong, several times - nothing more appealing than a guy that can't spell while telling you he's intelligant and edumacated. Bad grammar follows in this same vane/vein/penis.

5) Tell me 'u r hot' - I am. I know this. You're redundant!

6) Use "lol" - There is a reason I don't use IM in the dating world.

7) Tell me how you make a lot of money - Great, now offer to be my sugar daddy. We'll get along just fine...blech.

8) Send me your life story - because inquiring minds want to know.

9) Send me your phone number - because when you look like the last time you washed your hair was circa 1996 with a bottle of TRESsemme shampoo...I promise I'll be calling you asap.

10) Ask me what kind of luck I've had on the dating site. You are stupid. Obviously my luck hasn't been great, or I wouldn't be on here. -500 points for blinding stupidity.

Spandexwhetter

2009-10-07T15:26:00.005-04:00

This one is for Miss S. We refer to this one as Spandexwhetter. Why? Because he sent me the following photo and said that it was to "whet my appetite".

heh.

I've been propositioned!

2009-10-07T14:12:00.001-04:00

Yet again...So I went on a date with this one guy. He was nice, normal, just not my type. So I cut the date short citing my desire to get up at 7am to go biking. He texted me several times post-date, which I ignored. Now keep in mind, I *am* looking to have a relationship at some point...just not with him. This is the recent email I got:

I'm not really an Insurance Broker. I'm a rocket surgeon, ops! I mean brain scientist.

Anyway, the point is I'm smart enough to know that you're not interested in a relationship. I don't blame you. You seem very mature. I'm pretty immature at the core. But at the end of the day I think you have a great body and a pretty face so I just wanted to know if you want to cum over. I'm discreet. No strings attached. Just let me know I'll give you my address.

P.S. I was going to text you a cock shot and say something like "I was just hanging around thinking about u." But I wasn't sure what your reaction would have been. I'm thinking you would think that's funny but you could have been disgusted, not sure.

Also, I used spell checker for you this time. That means I think you're special.

Latest...

2009-10-07T13:17:00.001-04:00

It just said this:

*twists your hair firmly and kisses you*

I'm Aaron.

From a profile on PoF

2009-10-07T10:43:00.001-04:00

Wow, I think spell checker is going to have to call 911 for an emergency visit:

Internet service and cell, 250 a month? If this really worth the aggravation? Seriously? I'm a regular guy, never been married, and no children, always dreamed of being married and having a child! Looking for that all American dream, the beautiful wife and kids! Growing up on a farm, has given so much divisibility! Country in my bones, and hard work in my hands, makes for a great strong mind and body! People come and go, I believe for a reason! What those reasons are, we may never figure out? It is our Jobs as people to learn our best from each and every past relationship, and try deep in our hearts to be the best we can be, no matter what the circumstances! Over come our short comings and better our selves along the way! If a person does these things and truly in thier hearts believes they are doing so, the people that have done them wrong, one day will see thier mistakes by your example! Leadership and guidance are what we as the people of this great country have been lacking, dead beat dads and the broken homes, destroyed marriages , so very sad! Just one of many reasons why I have chose not to marry in the past ! Now at 40 years old, I know deep down, I am ready for that ultimate commitment, to dedicate my life to that one women whom would steal my heart and hold on tight! To death do us part! Extremely powerful to me, and not taken lightly! If you are, FAKE, INSACURE, INTROVERTED, SELFISH, INSENCEATIVE, NONPASSIONATE, FULL OF PRIDE, LATE, NOT RESPONCEABLE, HATEFUL, NONCOMPASSIONATE, ABUSIVE, HOMELESS, ACOHOLIC, DRUG ADDICT, PROSTIUTE, CAM GIRL, STILL NOT OVER YOUR X, GOLD DIGGER, DRAMMA QUEEN, IMPOLITE, RACEIST, IDEALISTIC,ILMORAL, NO GOALS, Don't waist your time or mine! Thank you! BTW, I always reply to all emails, not matter what, and I expect the same in return! If I take MY TIME to email, I should expect the same in return, even just to say your not interested! Ignorance is as Ignorance does! Be considerate to others not matter who they are, one day you may run across thier paths and need them?

Men with Cell Phones

2009-10-07T10:22:00.001-04:00

Men in Cars...

2009-10-07T10:20:00.001-04:00

A few more wacko emails

2009-10-07T09:27:00.003-04:00

This one had the subject "clb". Someone tell me what that means?

how about a date that is a hike in the mountains, i would like that better than visiting a waste water treatment plant. or even a bike ride would be ok , are you very easily entertained tha you wrote about a squirell, or do like watching them out side your windows?

And another in the series of men that don't know how to spell "piqued":

Okay I am going to give you my life story the readers digest version and see if I can peak some interest.

I loev guys who can't spel:

Hi there my name is dave, you probably get a million emails and proposals.....I can understand because your smokin hot. But Im not intimadated by your beauty, lol....I loved you profile very funny!! I would like to hang out one night, have some coffe and chat. See where things go....

Been awhile...

2009-10-07T09:21:00.002-04:00

Thought I would add some recent updates since I've decided I'm crazy enough to throw my hat back in the e-ring of crazy online dating. Here are some particularly great emails I've received lately:

So what place u finish the triathlon? You look like your in great shape there. ;-) So I figure you did really good. Or wore you just chasing a squirrel. Lol.
I'm not as active as you are but I enjoy being active. I bike but have a flat :-( when ever I have time I like to get away and go to my cabin. Climb the hills and hike. Haven't taken my bike up there but that's next. And you could chase squirrels all day! Lol.
I enjoyed your profile and would like to learn more about you and make shore your not normal. Don't like normal chicks. Lol

How are you doing today??? I'm very glad.. Well I'm pretty new to this Internet dating scene though.. well i was glancing through profiles when your fascinating profile and Tender looking face with a nice smile pecked my Interest that allowed me to contact you, And I must admit that you're ravishingly beautiful. your beauty pecked my Interest also and you wouldn't tell me that you're still single??? well i will love you to email me to my private mail cos i am not regular on here xxxx@xxx.com i will really love to hear from you soon..

Progressive series from angry man due to my lack of response:

First email:

You're a very beautiful woman!
What's your name?
Do you like the beach?
I love the beach!
I own a place outside of Lewes, Delaware, I go down allot ( eat crabs, swim, work on my tan.
Just so you know I'm far from being like most of these guys on this site, I own a couple of businesses, I own apartments and have very big goals and dreams in life.
I'd like to talk with you, if you would.
Just take a look at my profile and see if you like what you see.
Have a great day, I hope to hear back from you.
Justin

Second (within 1 hour):

God forbid any of you woman would actually respond to a simple, I want to get to know you message

Third (a few hours later):

You don't know a winner when you see one and when a motivated go getter like myself is interested in you, you'd prefer to "SEE WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE", YOU WOMAN DON"T DESERVE A MAN LIKE ME.
Why do I say that?
Simple, I first sent you a simple Hi I'm Justin, I want to get to know you further message however, you'd rather have trailer park Joe than a nice Man that actually has one heck of a great life now and future ahead of me, again, if you'd actually read my profile, it should jump right off the page at you and you'd know what I'm talking about!
Blame me all you want for being blunt, but this is the truth, deny it all you will, you'll say, "WELL WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, I'M NOT INTERESTED.
Don't you see however the problem is that, when I sent you the, I want to get to know you better message and in my profile, I simply state that I'm a good Man that's not a loser.
Do I receive a response to that?
Of course not, I'm telling you that you ladies should really take a good hard look at yourselves and examine why on Gods green Earth you would turn down even wanting to get to know a Man like myself.
Very strange!
Justin

Hmmm...

2009-06-03T15:35:00.001-04:00

Let me add: He is responding to my CL ad, that has no PHOTOS on it. So this is obviously a form letter he sends out. Which is what makes it so funny.

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Hey,

How are you? I hope all is well. My time on this thing has gone by so fast, and I am still learning what I like and don't like about it. I just stumbled across your page or rather profile and am forced to admit you are a good woman. I apologize for complimenting the superficial first, however you did catch my eye. But your words however captured my attention and pushed me to send you a message. I don't know what to say other than to apologize for not having my page in a manner where you could learn even more about me.. I am wondering what would you like to know about me. I am 51, and from OH Newark.. Well, I am 6'0. I have a babyface. I have more pictures I can email you. I am at this very moment trying to put a few new ones up on my page. What would you like to know about me? Where can our conversation begin? I am a person who loves true friendship and good if not great conversation."Friendship is essential to the soul." I've studied philosophy and child psychology. I am a lover of words so I enjoy writing and reading when time permits me.

Sincerely Yours,
Jim.

Oh my...

2009-06-03T13:23:00.001-04:00

I had to share this:

a terrified subordinate has anonymously informed me that this profile makes me sound "abrasive." why, this couldn't be further (farther?) from the truth! so i say, let's play a game to lighten the mood! three lies and a truth! 1) i was once attacked by a brown grizzly bear while hiding out in the woods with my captors; 2) my birth-mother left me at a fire-station in the middle of the night when i was six-months old; 3) i'm doing 100 push-ups a night so i can upgrade my body-type from "about average" to "athletic and toned"; 4) clint eastwood once gave me a dirty look for leering at his beautiful wife. ok. now take a minute...ok. number four is the truth! now, for the "abrasive" profile: i'm sort of moody but also pleasant and happy a lot and i can't really tan :( i don't know how to cook but i love french toast at denny's. i don't eat homemade food because i think people's kitchens are dirty---cats in the kitchen and stuff. i like the new york times. i don't like the summer and i don't really like the winter. i love october though. i also like hansen's energy drinks and banana republic although i can't really afford it :/ i don't like dateline's stone phillips. i like the news hour with jim lehrer and i like charlie rose. i don't like happy, feel-good movies. the commercials on UPN/CW during the day depress me. i am skeptical of people who call into morning radio shows and share details of their mundane lives with the 25 year-old DJ. i'm lonely too but i talk to MYSELF. i think i may have suffered a minor stroke tonight in the grocery store parking lot. except last month i was convinced that i had glaucoma and that self-diagnosis turned out to be wrong. i think i spelled "diagnosis" incorrectly? bad weather on the weekend makes me smile. i just totally can't handle ants in the kitchen or hair in food. i like strawberry margaritas but i'm not secure enough to order them. i don't like to share my dessert. slow walkers infuriate me. basically, as big-L put it, "i'm so ahead of my time my parents haven't met yet."

Today's Photo Edition: Strike a Pose

2009-06-03T12:22:00.005-04:00

I'm sure these more than speak for themselves.

I bang the worst dudes

2009-06-03T10:23:00.002-04:00

That title isn't referring to me, but to the site I've linked to on the right.

Here are some of my favorite snippets so far. Why are these women so pathetic???

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I met this 21 year-old virgin on a scenester dating site. We got together a few times, and he refused any form of PDA, including hand-holding. I let him buy me dinner and take me to museums in the city. Often we’d be walking and he would push me into a pile of trash on the sidewalk and laugh. Aw, how romantic! The first time I blowing him he got really paranoid and screamed that he was not going to have sex with me. As I made my way down his very pierced body, I was in shock at what I found in his pants. He had his asshole pierced. How this was even possible is beyond me, but he loved for it to be tugged on. Things ended after a few months when he started not fucking another girl.

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I was 18 and very intoxicated. He was 28, attractive, and feeding me more drugs/alcohol. The next day I was discussing the crazy “dream” I thought I had had when my friend confirmed that it was not a dream: he had filmed us having sex. Needless to say I don’t really remember the details. A few nights later he showed up in a suit knocking on my window. It was 2 am on Christmas Eve. Really?

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Up until this point I had never had a one night stand but after having a few exchanges with a guy who works at a bar I frequent, I decided to text him. We met up at a bar where he claimed he was too broke to buy me a drink but nonetheless I brought him back to my place where instead of foreplay, my hair was pretty much ripped out of my head while being enveloped in some strange embrace that only he found sexy. Afterward he showed off a horrifying tattoo of a vagina on his body, which looked more like chewed gum (artistic interpretation?) and we proceeded to have the most unsatisfying sex of my life.

Curious T

2009-06-03T09:08:00.004-04:00

This is funny on so many levels! I love the photo he sent.
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Curious T
to pers-7ydgc-119.

Your post makes you sound too challenging even for myself who would compliment you to a T. Even if you are that way you will not likely find a suitor via Craigslist. Now I happened upon your ad merely by coincidence. I have all you seek and more but you sound somewhat picky. This is my first visit to the site and appears interesting. It seems that most post want sex and are not shy about it.

We all love intimacy. I just am not ashamed to say it. But lets leave sex for later.

Life is definitely about choices so choose well.

Walt

Request for Tour Guide

2009-06-03T09:06:00.002-04:00

Yeah, sure, I'm so devoid of friends that I want to hang out with some random dude that's not even interested in dating. Honestly???

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Hello my name is Robert and I am on assignment in Maryland for the next 2 months. I am 33 SWM looking for someone to hangout with. I am not just looking to hook up for a one night stand. I am not concerned with sex, just looking for someone to take in the local sights. I want to visit DC, Baltimore and NYC on the weekends. If you would like to hangout sometime reply with a picture. I will send you a picture when you email me. CL only allows for 150KB message, so I cannot send you a picture.

Nascar Outlaw

2009-06-03T09:01:00.001-04:00

I enjoyed receiving this:

nascaroutlaw@sprint.blackberry.net

TmljZSBhZCBoYXZlIGEgc3dlZXQgZGF5DQpEb24NClNlbnQgb24gdGhlIE5vdyBOZXR3b3JrmSBm
cm9tIG15IFNwcmludMKuIEJsYWNrQmVycnk=

The Scruffster

2009-06-03T09:00:00.002-04:00

Scruffy Love
to pers-7ydgc-119.

i am 20 5'9 135 d&d free hit me back if your interested

Joe Zovak aka Fakin'

2009-06-02T08:22:00.003-04:00

Seems "Joey Fun" has nothing better to do but to email me the same ugly photo of himself from his cell phone over and over again. It's good to know he gets about 7 hours of shut eye in between spams...

If anyone would like to 'contact' Joey, you can reach him on his blackberry at

4108774407@vzwpix.com
jzovak@hotmail.com

More fun with sex site pushers!

2009-06-02T08:20:00.000-04:00

Do people really fall for this shit??

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hey i read ur ad and was interested, we should hookup sometime, my names holley heres a pic of me http://lilurl.org/m98490 my inbox is full so the only way you can email me back is to email me at holley.brenda1186@gmail.com hope 2 hear from u

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i know you, and you know me. it sounds kinda freaky, i know. please do not be scared. but i've had my eye on you for awhile now. i made this fake e-mail to talk to you. whenever i see you i get too nervous to say anything. what i'm really trying to say is...i think you're great. i watch how you carry yourself and i have this really big crush on you! i think this is the only way i can show what i really feel about you. i have a profile on linkdater.com just search my username "lucky09". you'll know who i am when you see the pictures. if you're not interested in me, i completely understand. i'll just leave it be. but if you are interested, then please let me know cause it's killing me! just promise me next time we do see each other that it won't be awkward. PLEASE let me know...

Black Stud here...

2009-06-01T22:50:00.000-04:00

aww...no penis pic!

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black college stud here,wanna know what you look like.

Fakin' is the PENIS GUY!!!

2009-06-01T22:45:00.002-04:00

Someone, please...I beg you...suggest something fun for me to do with this one! He's emailed me 3 times today.

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joe zovak
to pers-7ydgc-119.

U get pic

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Hmm, apparently he is the penis guy. He sent me this pic - look familiar???
So, fakin #1 and fakin #2 are the same. I'm not sure where the face of the old guy came from...but this is entertaining!

More Random Funnyness...

2009-06-01T16:51:00.000-04:00

From POF:

Fakin' strikes again!

2009-06-01T16:39:00.002-04:00

joe zovak
to pers-7ydgc-119.

Mmmm rally
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

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Please feel free to email him with useless banter. I think he clearly needs to receive some human e-contact.

jzovak@hotmail.com

Randomly found...

2009-06-01T16:07:00.002-04:00

I just stumbled upon these pics on a user profile on POF.

Flattery...will get you nowhere when it's e-flattery!

2009-06-01T08:36:00.002-04:00

hi beautiful wow you look so amazing you have to be an angel your profile makes you seem so perfect mmmmm :) anyman that is lucky enough to win your heart forever could never ask for anything else in this world your beautiful, just wish it could be me Brian :)

HAHA. I wonder how many girls he sends that line to?

I've been Serenaded by Stainshane!

2009-05-30T21:29:00.000-04:00

Hi.
My name is shane
Im 21, 6ft tall
Dark hair
Light eyes
I am a graphic designer, photographer, and tattoo artist.
Pic for pic?
Email me back and I will send some.

Harbor holes (one day at a time)

I just take this now one day at a time. This isn't fair waking up all alone in a house that isn't mine... next to nobody. All alone. Just my cold alarm buzzing in my ear. I need you. Come back to me

I feel like im full of holes
Tatter pieces of my yellow temperament
Lay strung across eight state lines
Gathering it all back
Is a task I can't grasp
Loosely wrapped in a clouded mind
Like vision map or quest
I thirst.
I dehydrate
And wither away in the hot sun
12 feet from the ground
Baking on sheets full of holes and
New screws.
No home to call my own.
Roma coma dislodged centerpiece mindset.
"Building as so dead"
Sunblock and salty mist whips my face
Abandoned shambles, gamblers grace,
Poker stakes, joker, ace, black jack
Hop scotch, pegleg, medium rare steak.
Raw meat, bear feet, footrest, summer dress
Undressed and dress (bathroom left mess, already messy)
Too dizzy with pity, nap in a first floor courtyard garden party.
I can still hear the hardy har har, arriving tardily.
Off beat, he skips it, with a devilish look on his face like yes he did,
Oh no he didn't.

Stainshane

More spam from the ladies

2009-05-30T10:37:00.001-04:00

Now I am receiving fake e-dating advice from someone obviously pushing their online dating site. Oh, joy:

Hey,

I noticed you are looking for a date on Craigs list. I have also tried
this before but
it didn't work out very well for me, and since then have tried several
other sites with the same result. Then
a friend of mine suggested looking at this dating website.
I filled out a free profile and ended up finding my soul mate within a month!
Give it a shot! Who knows, you might get lucky just like I did! What
do you have to lose?

Here is the link:http://www.PerfectMatchDating.co.cc

Hookers like me too!

2009-05-30T10:35:00.002-04:00

Now I feel completely initiated. I've been hit on by a female "whateversheis". Cam whore? Hooker? Seller of online sex sites? Most interesting, is how she saw the 'picture' of me (that is of a funny menu). I don't know, men probably have a better idea of what this is about:

----

I saw your picture and I was interested...if you're looking for something here you can come check out my interactive profile with the age verification process so I know you're of age and whatnot. http://www.occasionwithgirls.net it has my pictures and my phone number, just register and goto profile "linxo75" and you'll see my account. keep in touch

-xo lindsay

Jehovah's Witness Update...

2009-05-30T10:04:00.001-04:00

So, if you look further down below, you'll see the email I received from the Jehovah's witness. I could have *sworn* he was joking. But now, I'm not so sure. I'm a glutton for punishment, so I might write him yet again. Here is my reply to his original email, and his reply to me.

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My reply:

HA! I see I have found a fellow Jehovah. May the lord be with you, and enjoy this free copy of the bible. I would offer to autograph it for you but, oh wait...

How are you 'an AA'...or are you in AA? Or are you saying your Jehovah's witness side of yourself is in AA? Which would be pretty funny, because I am pretty sure JW's don't drink. Or is that Mormons. You don't wear special underwear do you? Oh wait, that is probably Mormons too. However, if you can get me access to that really cool castle/temple on 495 that the Mormon people like to keep womenfolk out of, I might be willing to convert for a few hours...

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Thanks for the email.

You're right I don't drink or smoke. I do gamble, in fact I'm supposed to be on my way to Atlantic City tomorrow. But I don't know if I will make it.

My birthday was May 28, last Thursday, and one of my good Ex-Jw friends called to wish me Happy Birthday...as you may know JW's don't celebrate birthdays.

Do you have something against religious people?

Do you ever go to Atlantic City.

I am 44 years old.

S

Oh my...

2009-05-29T23:44:00.002-04:00

Against my better judgement, I'm posting this...because well, it is funny. I mean, the guy is probably a nice guy. And he's probably a nice guy for a nice woman 20 years my SENIOR. Hey, can't blame him for trying, right?

I do kind of want a ride on his tractor tho. That's hawt. And for those of you not 'in the know', Lancaster county is the only county you can't buy alcohol in unless you are at a restaurant. heh.

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Hi, Live in Southern Lancaster Co, PA , am 62 and self employed. Never married and no children. Like to keep busy. Travel both for work and pleasure. Do not smoke and very little drinking. Enclosed picture is with my antique truck. Maybe you would care for a ride. Collect bunch of antiques to keep me occupied and off the streets and out of bars. Would be nice to find somebody for LTR. Many activities are nicer together. Hope we can talk together. Reach me at xxxxxx Thanks R

More Fakin' strikes again!

2009-05-29T23:37:00.002-04:00

Mr. "More Fakin'" (the old guy) has emailed me yet again. Wonder what poignant bit of wisdom he had to share with me this time??

joe zovak
to pers-hankd-119.

Mmmmmm
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

My next husband...

2009-05-29T16:17:00.004-04:00

Check out the Profile!

Someone is upset!

2009-05-29T11:01:00.004-04:00

I am about 99% sure this is from the guy whom I accused of being bitter. Still, I found it amusing!

Congratulations!

You've met your goal!
Your sincerely *
EVERY RED-BLOODED
MANS WoRsT NiGhTmArE !!! *

Fakin

2009-05-29T10:51:00.001-04:00

Yeah, that was the title of his email to me. He sent me (thrice) the same photo of his penis. And one half-face shot. No text in it, I guess he planned to let his penis do the talking. I've whited out the offending part. Notice the nice seashell to the lower right hand corner!

Enjoy!

More Fakin'

2009-05-29T10:50:00.001-04:00

Wow, 2 accusations of 'fakin' in one day! And I just went from 18 to 80 in one fell swoop. I love the photo he sent. Along with this quality email:

U there must b fakin

Jail Bait

2009-05-29T10:48:00.001-04:00

I don't think this one is even over 18. His email:

I don't know what you're looking for, but you seem like a whole lotta fun

Smacked down...

2009-05-29T10:36:00.003-04:00

This is an exchange I had with a guy that responded to my CL ad. Funny stuff!

From random guy:

You seem to have a very specific idea of the man you want. Good luck finding him. I think the man you want is a woman.

If you really just want a nice guy, shorten the list considerably to the traits that are absolute. Otherwise self-respecting men like me will bail.

J

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Amy K
to kewasw

Thanks for you opinions. However, I wouldn't be true to myself if I changed it too much. So, I should remove that I don't want to date a guy who's idea of activity is tv-channel-surfing? Because he will email me if I take that out. And what does that accomplish for either of us? I won't answer, because I'm not interested. He wasted time sending out an email only to not get a response, or get an unfavorable one.

Also, as a male, you would not believe the types of things you receive from men in regards to an ad if you are too vague. I get solicitations for sex, men with absolutely nothing in common with me, etc. I have already dated and been in relationships with enough men to know what I don't want. I'd rather have nothing, than settle for halfway.

I don't know that it makes you self-respecting if you respond to an ad you are not interested in, giving unsolicited advice. In fact, I've received quite the opposite - plenty of self-respecting men that are looking for women with standards.

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You get what you pay for on CL. It's free and most of the ads or fake or deceitful. What do you expect?

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Amy K
to kewasw

I expect nothing, but if I get something...then hey. There are some normal people on here. People are fake and deceitful in life, just as well as online - but not all of us. What you may consider as me being overly picky is me being honest. You imply you'd rather me be dishonest by leaving out things that matter to me. Then what? If I don't have my integrity, I have nothing.

This is just another avenue to meet people.

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I am picky too. But loneliness and inflexibility are often incompatable.

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Amy K
to kewasw

See, and there is the difference. I don't act/feel lonely. There is a difference between lonely and alone. I would love the compliment of another person, but only if they are what I am attracted to. People that are lonely and/or desperate are more willing to settle than those who aren't dying for opposite sex companionship. Just because someone wants that, doesn't mean they need it to be happy.

And I'm actually quite flexible. I go to yoga a few times a week.

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Damn! I envy the man who can make it up on your pedastal and capture your attention. I pity poor desperate losers like me who have no chance. Boo hoo!

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Amy K
to kewasw

Sad rebuttal. Typical from guys that are always whining about not being able to get a girl because they are 'nice guys' - but most likely it is because they don't have any of the qualities that a female is looking for. Namely: self esteem and balls.

One thing I've learned is that nice guys don't write emails like yours. I question why you even wrote. Bitter much? Don't bother to respond, I won't be reading. Again, best of luck in your search.

Someone doesn't get my Jehovah's Witness joke

2009-05-29T10:36:00.001-04:00

I posted this craigs list ad in Washington DC. If you type in "Jehovah" it will come up.

-----------

Being raised a Jehovah’s Witness from infancy I have not got into the dating seen yet, but at 44 I need to get it going.

Seeking Women:
Who want to be friends first for now, but more possible, later, and marriage is not out of the question.
Without drama

Also Seeking:

Also, looking to form a loose nit social contacts of others, women and men, raised as Witnesses in the DC, East Coast Area (Atlantic City NJ & Las Vegas, NV) area for quarterly social meetings.

All are welcome but a special emphasis on the following characteristics:
Raised a Witness from infancy
Current age 25 to 65 range; with a plus for 35 to 45
Understanding of the black experience in the US
Especially a pioneer

I’m a AA, in my 40’s, over 6’ tall. I do not smoke or drink. I have no kids and live in DC. I disease and drug free, I have job, car, and am employed. I have no children or convictions.

Pictures appreciated but not required, since if you meet the above requirements I want to meet you even if for friends. And my Mom is a devout Jehovah’s Witnesses.

The first outing can be a 20 minute greet and meet at the Baskin Robins Ice Cream store at Gallery Place in Chinatown, in Washington DC…or Union Station Shops… My treat, with no expectations…except that we both arrive on time…..Gallery Place Metro stop.

Much success. Looking forward to hearing from you.

Please no spamming, and I do not want to go to any websites, and I can not send a pic first, if at all. I prefer to meet.

Christian, JW,

Hello, my name is Chris

2009-05-29T10:35:00.000-04:00

Hello

My Name is Chris ,42 yrs old, 5.11 ft, i weigh 176,Am originally from UK but i have been living in Louisville KY for over 20 yrs now, I hope you for you distance is not barrier for you in relationship because am ready to relocate if i find the right one anywhere in the states, I'm a single Dad looking for a special friend that finds important the art of communication, honesty, trust, respect at all levels,enjoys a good laugh and is ready for new small adventures.I am willing to relocate for love as well and also I am interested in a woman that knows the importance of family values but who also is well aware of the rewards and work needed for keeping a relationship interesting..I am not on here For game .I'm here for a serious and a long term relationship..well,I am a Human ..I think every human On earth want to be Happy...I am ready to Treat my woman Good ...I will also Give her My Love,My heart and i will treat her Like she had wanted to be treated .I want to let you know ..There is a Powerful word called LOVE ....(Life without Love is like a harp without strings)I aggree with That 100%....and I guess you do aggree That As food is needed for the body, them same way love is needed for the soul. Food strengthens the body while love strengths the soul.A person is incomplete without love...In My Own definition Of LOVE..i can see Love is a noble act of self-giving, offering trust, faith, and loyalty. The more you love, The more you lose a part ofyourself, yet you don't become less of who you are; you end up being complete with your loved ones,Also Age and distance has nothing to do with a relationship but what really matters is for both to know what love really means and how to share it and also the values love carries,so i don't care if you are older than me or i am older than you ..I'm a very active, patientperson, easy going, a good listener, and extremely faithful...... I'm most comfortable in pants but enjoy being in a suit when the occasion arises...... I enjoy traveling, dancing, camping, hiking, eating out in the open by a campfire or dinner by candle light....... I like flea markets, shows, plays, some sport events, scuba diving, snorkling and boating. I also love being at my home and working out in the yard...... I have a special place in my heart for animals so therefore I won't hunt but wouldn't object if you did...... I enjoy almost all kinds of music but listen to Country Western and oldies. I enjoyworking with my hands...... I would like to find my best friend and enjoy the rest of my life. I'll love to spend time with my family if i have one as much as possible....... I enjoy doing almost anything there is to do if I'm with the right person..If you would Love to Get to Talk To me ,Here is My personal email address ,You can aswel Get me Into Your Yahoo Instant messenger..I would Love to chat with you,I will be waiting to chat with you online,so add me as (xxxxxxxx) or send me your yahoo IM and i will add you and await to chat with you.I will be awaiting for your immediate response.Thanks

I care

Chris

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